Just saw Teppy's new edit. Which works better.
(c) dissemble (go dissembling!); (d) get some therapy and learn important lessons about disengaging from people, and knowing what's Your Shit and what's Their Shit and how to enforce those boundaries (healthiest approach, but it takes a couple years).
As a veteran of some pretty serious family wars (let's just say I ended up with Hec's option (a)), I recommend a combination of (c) and (d) at this point. (c) is what you need to get them out of your face. As you no doubt know from college days, it's surprisingly easy to control the information your family gets when you're living on your own and they don't see you day to day.
But (c) is more viable as a way to buy time than as a longterm strategy. It's too easy to reach the point where the tension becomes too much to handle.
For example, let's say that a couple of year from now, you fall for a lovely woman from Ireland (or anywhere else that makes her non-Gujarati). What do you do? Do you pretend to your family that this big part of your life doesn't exist? Do you leave her behind and visit family alone? And what if there are children?
Which is why, long-term, I recommend (d).
Also, Hec, I saw your post and appreciate it but don't have a good response.
That's fine. Practice your zen detachment and turning aside skills. That's all I'm saying.
P-C, there is also something to be said for the fine are of smiling, nodding, and saying things like, "Thanks, I hadn't thought of that." Not technically lying, ijs.
My response is, "Well, there's an idea."
Also, Teppy is a verra good editor.
Practice your zen detachment and turning aside skills. That's all I'm saying.
Dude, that's what he was doing *to you.*
My response is, "Well, there's an idea."
Heh, that's exactly what I say.
Um, now I'm wondering where my link links to, because for me it links to squirrels fighting with lightsabers.
I would go with Teppy's version and stop taking advice from your uncle.
I vote for this also.
Your lack of guile makes you the number one buttmonkey in your family because they're all bossy as hell. You are direct and honest and you'll continue to be punished for this as long as you interact with them. Sorry about that, but it's true.
This is so totally true. You clearly didn't get the family gene for bossiness and manipulation. (Also, Hec is clearly Mr. Sorry-But-True Guy recently)
Respecting your elders is one of our most important values.
You can show respect for your uncle (heck, you can even actually
respect
him), without actually acting on what he suggests. That's one of those exciting and fun Life Lessons. I respect my sensei, because he's my sensei, even though I know he's just a guy and his lessons often can't be of any use to me, and might actually hurt me.
"I figured if he were right, I could save some money, and if he were wrong, there was no harm in asking, maybe?"
Hey! Another fun Life Lesson! Sometimes there is harm in asking.
