I'm a big fan a vaguing things up. For example, if Uncle said check with landlord to see if you can move in without paying, my response would likely be, I'll take care of it. And, then proceed to take care of it in my fashion. Then, if he asked if I had done it, I'd say, I took care of it.

Despite what Willow said, vagueness can be a friend.

I'll take care of it. And, then proceed to take care of it in my fashion. Then, if he asked if I had done it, I'd say, I took care of it.

This is very, very good. Assuages concern and has the extra added bonus of truth.

Go and look at this picture

That's gorgeous! Makes me miss the West.

Beej, you didn't remember the rules of lying! Say as little as possible and stick as close to the truth as possible. It's the only way.

But, what I meant was basically what you just said. I don't know that it took a lot of energy making up new lies, etc., but I wasn't the person I wanted to be. In order to avoid following their moral compass, I banged up my own to keep them from pushing.

That's not to say that Chikat's wrong either. They DON'T need to know everything. I told my parents my new dog is a mutt, and implied that he was an adoption. They would have been horrified to know that we spent money on an animal with children and house payment and all the other financial expenditures we have.

I also don't talk about my health with them. If it's bad, I did something wrong. If it's good, it's because they pray for me. If they ask directly, I tell them that it's under control, or I'm managing. Sometimes that's a lie.

Whoops, was typing when you posted that, Raq. It is beautiful. I like the grass one too.

I wasn't the person I wanted to be

Word. To infinity.

They DON'T need to know everything.

Oh mercy. I couldn't agree more with this. And, as you (and Chikat) say, there are ways of phrasing things that are, in fact, kinder and more efficient than the bald truth. Honesty, for its own sake, can be used as a weapon, or can be just as self-serving as a lie can.

eta: self-service? I'm off to the automat!

I 'd apologizes to the landlord, and say you were pushed by a family member.

and your uncle is starting from the wrong place. tenent moves out on day a - and there are 10 days between day a and dayb when new tenet is to move it. That is his time to do any repairs or cleaning that might be needed. his letting you come in early is shortening his repair time, not doubling rent. now, he could be doing something wrong, but I think it is a bad place to be - assuming someone is doing wrong

All right, how's this?

[Kooky old French guy], I apologize. Personally, I was perfectly happy to pay pro-rated rent in order to move in early.

My uncle, however, has a very cynical worldview when it comes to landlords and mechanics and car salesmen and almost anyone. He immediately assumed that you were attempting to collect double rent. I told him that was ridiculous because from all I had gathered about you, I believed you to be a very upstanding man who would never try to cheat his tenants. He suggested I ask anyway because if the tenant had paid through the month, I shouldn't have to pay.

I asked, and you explained that it would be illegal, and I, again, was content with your answer, but my uncle, again, didn't believe it. He said that most landlords would let you in early free if you asked; it wasn't as if they could do anything with the unit during that extra time anyway. He said I should make another request, citing budgetary expenses. Negotiate, he said, and you can save some money.

I was very uncomfortable doing it, but I followed his instructions because I am supposed to respect his advice as a family member. I feel like I have ended up offending you, and for that, I am very sorry.

As I said, I am fine honoring the agreement we came to before I let my uncle become involved. I will pay the pro-rated rent. I wanted to explain myself, however, because I am rather ashamed with my behavior and did not want you to think that I was the sort of person who tries to take advantage of people. I hope we can continue on as pleasantly as we had been before. Thank you.

P-C, [Kooky old French guy] doesn't know your uncle, correct? If he does, I'd suggest combining paragraphs 2 and 3 to something a little more summary.

P-C, [Kooky old French guy] doesn't know your uncle, correct?

Oh, not at all. Although I suppose he will meet him when I move in. Heh.

P-C, I would make a few changes, like so:

[Kooky old French guy], I need to apologize. Personally, I was perfectly happy to pay pro-rated rent in order to move in early.

My uncle, however, has a very cynical worldview, [snip] and immediately assumed that a landlord would attempt to collect double rent if he could get away with it. I don't share my uncle's worldview, and I disagree with him totally. I told him that [snip] you are a very upstanding man who treats his tenants fairly. He suggested I ask anyway because his opinion is that if the tenant had paid through the month, I shouldn't have to pay.

I asked, and you explained that it would be illegal, and I, again, was content with your answer, but my uncle, again, didn't believe it. He believes that most landlords would let you in early free if you asked and that it wasn't as if they could do anything with the unit during that extra time anyway. He urged me to make another request, citing budgetary expenses. Negotiate, he said, and you can save some money.

I was very uncomfortable doing it, but I followed his instructions because I try to respect his advice as a family member. I realize that by following his advice, I proposed a scenario that was unfair to you, and I offended you, and for that, I am very sorry.

As I said, I am fine honoring the agreement we came to before I let my uncle become involved. I will pay the pro-rated rent. I wanted to explain myself, however, because I am rather ashamed with my behavior and did not want you to think that I was the sort of person who tries to take advantage of people. I hope we can continue on as pleasantly as we had been before. Thank you.