Do you a) ignore it...friend has been doing very well, she must know what she's doing; b) confront her...she probably has a good reason; c) stage an intervention...she's going backwards; d) cut her off...this is one two many mistakes.

somewhere between b and c. I'd say, in a casual, non judgmental way, "hey, i noticed that there was some wine in your place. Is everything okay?" That gives her a chance to talk to you if she has any issues.

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I think asking in a nonconfrontational way is a first step.

You can't know that she's in trouble again, the evidence suggests that but evidence's first impressions can't always be trusted.

You saw the wine glasses and you are justifiably concerned given her history but you don't have all of the facts yet.

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Er. I'm a little concerned about my new landlord now. Not, like, I think he's evil like vw's, but I'm just a little...afraid. I don't know.

So we put on the lease September 1 with an "around" qualification because I wanted to see if I could move in a little earlier since the current tenant was likely going to be gone before then. You guys know I need to get out of here as soon as I can. He talked to the current tenant and said that, yeah, I could move in the weekend before and pay pro-rated rent for the end of August.

My uncle, upon hearing that, took the cynical view that he was trying to collect rent from me even though the other guy had already paid through August, and I doubted that, but I asked anyway, and I got a long response about the law and how illegal it would be for him to get rent from two people for the same time period.

So, okay, he wasn't trying to screw me over. But my uncle suggested I push further to see if I could move in early at no charge; in my last two apartments, I'd been allowed to move in a little early without paying extra. It was more like a day or two, not six, though. But maybe, just maybe, he would do it anyway and save me $200. So I whipped up some bullshit:

Okay, I understand that it is illegal for you to collect double rent, which is good! It should be!

As it had been no problem with previous apartments, however, I was rather hoping to be able to move in before September 1 at no charge. Due to family obligations, August has been quite a spendy month, and I had budgeted my moving expenses accordingly, especially since, monetarily speaking, I was expected to remain at my current place until the end of the month. Waiting that long, however, is unfavorable because I will very soon be getting more responsibilities at work, making it much more important to be living in Oakland rather than Belmont, and the Labor Day weekend will be bad for moving because the Bay Bridge will be completely shut down, which will cause many logistical issues since I have friends with vehicles to help me move who live in San Francisco.

I do understand if it's not allowed to move in early without paying extra rent, but I would appreciate the consideration, as it would really help me out. Thank you!

I felt really dirty because I knew there was really no good reason for him to accept my request; of course he could charge me rent for the time I was there.

I wasn't prepared for his response, though.

My dear Sunil:

Oh Oh Oh! So you find quite good that the owner does not charge rent to two different parties for the same day. And I am with you, because of morality and the respect of each interest.. But you also find quite good that a new Tenant (you in a previous rental) would get free rent at the expense of the Tenant who moves out ??? I am NOT with you on that one, because of the same morality and respect of each party's interest.

If I understand correctly, in a previous rental situation, you benefitted from the rent paid by someone else without his knowledge and agreement. If this happened in this area, the owner would have had no right to let you have the apt at the expense of the previous tenant, unless he agrees. There could be special cases, of course. But in general, the interest of each party must be respected.

I understand your request: you would like to have 6 days of free rent in August. Well, I would consider it if we decide that the rent is $900 per month instead of $827. How would you like that ? The market rent for the unit is $900 per month.

So let's say we know that the market rent for this unit is $900 per month. Would you like to modify the rental agreement accordingly ? I will then be happy to give you the August days (25th to the end) at no charge to you. Note - of course - that the previous Tenant does not get charged these 6 days either.

Oh, and we could use the extra money to improve the property. All the tenants and myself would appreciate your consideration and cooperation in this slight modification of our rental agreement.... We too, have budget problems constantly, and your gesture would be greatly appreciated.

Regards,
[kooky old French guy]

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I'm really not sure how to read his tone. As I said, he's perfectly within his rights to decline, and I understand that, but some of it seems overly sarcastic and slightly malicious. He's never seemed like that kind of guy, though; he's very warm and friendly in person. I mean, he bought me a cookie. I'm afraid I offended him and pissed him off by asking him, and I don't want this to taint our relationship in the coming year. I wish I'd never asked.

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but you don't have all of the facts yet.

Ah, you do know who she has been with and that a third party was unlikely...

Go with Vortex's suggestion.

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vw, I'd say b, except it doesn't have to be a confrontation, just ask. It's not your job to police her behavior, but if you are wondering, better to ask than to nurse suspicion.

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P-C, be honest with the dude that you felt pressured by your uncle to write that letter and you didn't mean to make it sound like you were trying to take advantage of anybody, either him or the previous tennant. Tell him you really were happy with the original arrangement and you'll be glad to adhere to it. I think he saw it as you trying to get something for nothing and that something was just a little bit more than a cookie. Just my two cents worth.

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I'm really not sure how to read his tone.

I think some of the tone on both sides could have been better. If you are so concerned with him not overcollecting on rent then it seems odd to also expect him to have the unit rented out without payment.

Perhaps an apology and either pay the rent to move early, which is what I have always seen done in California, or move in as agreed with no additional charges.

I know you just want to get out of your current circumstances and into a new place of your own.

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eek, PC. I think he may have just been reacting to what he percieved as a weird request (you seem also to think it is weird). Just let it go and it will blow over. My advice is just accept, move on, and don't take any further advice from your uncle about landlord/tenent relations. :)

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P-C, be honest with the dude that you felt pressured by your uncle to write that letter and you didn't mean to make it sound like you were trying to take advantage of anybody, either him or the previous tennant. Tell him you really were happy with the original arrangement and you'll be glad to adhere to it. I think he saw it as you trying to get something for nothing and that something was just a little bit more than a cookie.

Yeah, I think that is a good idea because he's an upstanding guy, and I want to show him that I try to be too. I feel awful right now for some reason. I think I'm about to cry.

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