The only Target really close to me has exactly four racks of Liz Lange, one of which is bathing suits and one of which is t-shirts on clearance. I do pilfer the remaining two racks whenever I get a chance, but it's slim pickings indeed.

What about Target.com?

Also, because you asked....I *wish* I had a man and some root!

Also also, all should bow before my wisdom! I was getting really annoyed that my car floor mats would get all smooshed up under my (and my passengers') feet, and though it's really the feet's fault, it just made me angry at the car mats. Poor car mats. The solution? Velcro. Awww yeah. Those mats aren't moving an INCH, baby.

Also also, all should bow before my wisdom!

I think you mean your "wisdom."

No, but they will explode if you test in 100% oxygen.

t pushes glasses higher up the bridge of her nose

Also also, all should bow before my wisdom!

I think you mean your "wisdom."

Actually, I meant "bow."

And thus provide some "services"?

They're not *blood* family, though...

Oh, dear. I think that makes it double-worse. Is any end in sight, eventually, or will it take either a violent death or a mysterious disappearance?

Not until *next* June, probably. If we're not out of here by then, well...I don't want to think about that.

I know this is way more than anyone probably wants to know, but I'ma post it anyway because I need to rant a little. And kind of apologize, too.

My FiL is a good man. But he's also a) the founding member and president of the Pessimists and Conspiracy Theorists Union, and b) 80, which has combined to make him incredibly set in his ways, and suffering some of the old-age related things that happen to everyone after a while, like poor hearing and sight, and some chronic ouchiness. I love him, and he loves us (hey, he took us in, and he adores his granddaughter especially), but I *liked* him a lot more when I wasn't living with him (and didn't have to hear him grumbling about how every shopkeeper in America is out to rip you off, and have FoxNews blaring all day).

The Crazy!BiL is...difficult. Well-meaning, and very patient with the kids (especially Sara, who adores "Unca") but he is also (imo) an undiagnosed schizophrenic who has never been medicated and hasn't worked or attended school or truly interacted with the world for more than 25 years. Paranoid, ingrained behaviors and personality tics doesn't even begin to cover it.

So...that's that. I really am grateful that we weren't out on the street last year, but this house is falling down, eighty percent of everything is broken, and nothing gets fixed because it costs too much, or it's too much trouble, or it's "change". Which is, you know, bad. It's not easy, but some days are just really worse than others.

TMI over.

And, um, let's make out.

That happens to me a lot when I nap, and even when I fight to consciousness it sticks. The worst was dreaming that demon-imps that looked like gravelings from "Dead Like Me" were scampering about my room...before I'd ever seen "Dead Like Me."

Dude, that is SUPER creepy! What was bad about this dream was not only was there someone in my room, I couldn't move. And first I dreamt I saw someone, then realized it was a friend of mine (but still creepy, because why does she look psychotic, and why is she looming over me in teh dark, and how did she get into my house anwyay??) and then I woke up, and then the second time I fell asleep, it was a stranger who was evil. So, yeah. Scary. NOt my usual sort of dream.

P and I were chatting about how it would be fabulous if we could trade breasts with each other sometimes

That would be super cool (er, if we could all do that--I don't much care if just you and she could, that would be no fun for me!). I vote yes!

Plus, she was probably too young.

Unless she was under 18, I don't think she was too young for you, P-C!

Dating a Former Seminarian

Ooh, kinky!

Ima start a club. I'll call it the Hammock Association of Productive People Yawning

I want a hammock! They're so comfy. Provided I don't fall out getting into it.

I don't have to work 40 hours to get my job done--that should be the average. We all have to put in long days--how often do we get short days that don't involve docking some time pool or another?

This is my issue. If I work EXTRA hours, that's because I need to. But if I don't have enough work, it's not like I can leave early...

You want me to tell you how much I want...a manroot?

I don't want a manroot, but having a girl at the moment would be really hot...which leads perfectly into...

In conclusion, let's make out!

Angry Boobs: cool. We'll wanna keep those hot mammas comfortably contained and rage-free, yuppers. Safer for everybody that way.

AmyLiz: Sharing the pain of your Annoying!FIL & CraXy!!!BIL. Mine are most likely being difficult differently than yours, but somehow it's nice to know I've got company in my familial frustration.

Anybody wanna go on a murderous rampage but lacks focus, you just let me know. I have here a list of targets to take down with extreme prejudice.

Perhaps my boobs are angry and need me to take them to go sit in the hammock for awhile, let ‘em calm down? Sorry: didn't get anything done today. Boob trouble. You know.

Amy? I'm not going to make out with you 'til you swallow that cake.

That sounds like a tough situation, AmyLiz. I hope the ranting helps, and that the next twelve months fly by as easily as possible.