So what does the e-mail say?

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This message has been sent to you by a friend or a relative who has recently disappeared along with millions and millions of people around the world.

The reason they chose to send you this letter is because they cared about you and would like you to know the truth about where they went.

This may come as a shock to you, but the one who sent you this has been taken up to heaven.

If you read a Bible, you will see that after chapter three in the book of Revelation, the church is no longer mentioned as being on earth. (The church are the believers in Jesus Christ, not the buildings in which people meet.)

In the Bible, 1 Thessalonians Chapter 4 verses 16 and 17 tell how Jesus came to take away His church. But, you have to believe the Bible is the Word of God in order to believe this.

I am sure that there will be a lot of speculation as to what happened to all these people. The theories of some scientists and world leaders will have so much credibility that most of the world will believe them.

It will sound like the truth!

But, there is only one truth. And, that truth is that Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, came back to earth and took with Him to Heaven all who believed in Him and made Him their Lord.

etc....

I'm sorry, but isn't it safe to assume that most people would believe after the Rapture? I mean, shit, that's pretty incontrovertible, what with all the driverless cars and whatever.

It will send an Electronic Message (e-mail) to whomever you want after the rapture has taken place, and you and I have been taken to heaven.

So the Rapture won't affect my internet access? Good to know!

I'm sorry, but isn't it safe to assume that most people would believe after the Rapture? I mean, shit, that's pretty incontrovertible, what with all the driverless cars and whatever.

When the Rapture happens, I'm totally gonnna snag me a nice house and some cars....

No, there'll be a lot of speculation, Jesse. The email says so.

Aliens are always a seductive option, as well as some sort of miracle that made some of the annoying people go away.

Logic. Religion...

I've got nothing.

Aliens are always a seductive option, as well as some sort of miracle that made some of the annoying people go away.

But who's responsible for the miracle?? Who made the aliens?? THE BABY JESUS, THAT'S WHO!!!!!

WWBJP?

(What would baby Jesus probe?)

Gus, if you don't like the food talk we can always move on to shoes.

All of reality sprang fully formed from the forehead of Dana. So it is runed. So shall it be.