I would not open up my own laptop, even with human, sane, trusted tech support on the line.

I wouldn't open my own laptop with human, sane, trusted tech support holding my hand while I did it.

As soon as they told me to get my little tiny screwdriver,

Oh, they never mentioned tools, except to say you'd need a scribe. I am stunned at what they had me doing, and at every step thought of my mother faced with all that.

It's possible that the tech person judged me capable based on the troubleshooting I'd done before calling, but that was the slimmest of differential diagnoses.

Looks like I'll be laptop shopping this weekend to find a replacement. I'm a bit startled that they didn't offer to expedite the cross-ship, because that way they get to keep the money. Instead it looks like UPS will be coming round to pick it up Monday.

They kept saying a tech could come out and fix it Monday to Friday. I told them I wouldn't be home. Then he told me the tech could come to my workplace.

Ah, no they can't.

Oh, they never mentioned tools, except to say you'd need a scribe.

Ha ha ha. WTF is a scribe? Since I'm pretty sure they didn't mean I'd need a hired hand to write down my words....

This was with Dell? When I had a Dell computer fuck up under waranty (-tee? both look wrong), they totally came to my house on the weekend and fixed it. I liked that a great deal.

Anti-dance book from 1892: From the Ball-Room to Hell

If you are a dancer, beware! Your life is spiraling down into a depraved pit of immorality and degradation. So says T.A. Faulkner, former owner of the Los Angeles Dancing Academy and ex-President of Dancing Masters' Association of the Pacific Coast.

The 40-page tract from 1892 is a fun read, mainly for the relish Faulkner takes in describing the carnal urges that get stirred up in people when they dance:

She is now in the vile embrace of the Apollo of the evening. Her head rests upon his shoulder, her face is upturned to his, her bare arm is almost around his neck, her partly nude swelling breast heaves tumultuously against his, face to face they whirl on, his limbs interwoven with hers, his strong right arm around her yielding form, he presses her to him until every curve in the contour of her body thrills with the amorous contact. Her eyes look into his, but she sees nothing; the soft music fills the room, but she hears it not; he bends her body to and fro, but she knows it not; his hot breath, tainted with strong drink, is on her hair and cheek, his lips almost touch her forehead, yet she does not shrink; his eyes, gleaming with a fierce, intolerable lust, gloat over her, yet she does not quail. She is filled with the rapture of sin in its intensity; her spirit is inflamed with passion and lust is gratified in thought. With a last low wail the music ceases, and the dance for the night is ended, but not the evil work of the night.

The girl whose blood is hot from the exertion and whose every carnal sense is aroused and aflame by the repetition of such scenes as we have witnessed, is led to the ever-waiting carriage, where she sinks exhausted on the cushioned seat. Oh, if I could picture to you the fiendish look that comes into his eyes as he sees his helpless victim before him. Now is his golden opportunity. He must not miss it, and he does not, and that beautiful girl who entered the dancing school as pure and innocent as an angel three months ago returns to her home that night robbed of that most precious jewel of womanhood--virtue!

ooh! he's been to Prom!

My flatmate had a problem with her Dell laptop -- you know, it was something wrong with the motherboard, so that it couldn't charge up despite benig plugged in properly! -- and the guy came to our house on a Saturday to take it apart and put it back together. But:

a) Replacing a motherboard in a computer less than six months old sounds like a Really Big Problem.
a-1) Especially if that happens a lot.
b) The first replacement of the motherboard didn't work, and had to be re-done.
c) In the year since she's had her laptop, and despite numerous corrections by mail and by phone, Dell has never fixed the misspelling of Flatmate's name.
c-1) On the upside, now she can always tell to whom Dell has sold her personal information, because it all comes with the same misspelling.

Overall, not impressed with Dell all that much, as a tech company. (I bought my most recent desktop at a local company, so I can go on down and yell at somebody in person if I have to. Which I haven't had to. Knock wood.)

Two men were arrested in Berlin on suspicion of filling soccer balls with concrete and then placing them in public areas with signs encouraging people to kick the balls.

Police said they had identified a 26-year-old and a 29-year-old and had found a workshop in their apartment where they made the balls. The two are accused of causing serious physical injury, dangerous obstruction of traffic and causing injury through negligence, police said.

That's just... mean.

[link]

They never offered a Saturday visit, and most of Saturday (up through 5, I realise) is already eaten.

Nutty--that sounds like the problem this unit was having.

Now I have to find (on Sunday, looks like) a laptop in meatspace with similar specs.

Man, this is too complicated.

a) Replacing a motherboard in a computer less than six months old sounds like a Really Big Problem.

That sounds like what I had, too.

I think Mr. Faulkner has needs that haven't been properly attended to.