Being paid for consistently is not something that comes easily to me.
Nor should it. I think there's a power issue embedded in who pays for things, and people don't often confront that issue head-on. I'm happy to let some people pay, but will vociferously insist on dutch with others, because of the person's attitude towards me. If I feel like I'm being shrunk down by the size of that person's wallet (or ego, or both), then allowing myself to be paid for is permission for crap behavior. Rarely, I'll be merciful to somebody who is stuck in an epoch from long ago, but I'm a lot more merciful to people actually born in that long-ago epoch than people aping the behaviors of same.
For me, who does the asking has nothing to do with who pays; both parties arrive at the event with equal footing, and it's the course of the evening that determines whether we argue over the bill.
The asker pays, unless the woman does the asking—then the man should pay.
What a crock of shit!!! What kind of woman asks a man to go out with her and expects him to pay!!! Seriously, this is crap. And the kind of shit that gives women a bad name (that name being bitch). Never once does this asshole contemplate that she should pay for the whole thing. His "compromise" is that they split the bill. WTF??? Ugh. Asshole! The person who asks should pay. That's it. It would, of course, be nice if the guy said "no, let me get it", but he certainly is not required to.
Fie on you David Cross, FIE
Er, he only wrote the column on celebrities. The "love & sex" one was written by the New York Mag editorial staff.
oh, dear. umm. unfie on you, David Cross, UNFIE!.
t waves
I have teh funny to share with you all. Apparently OKCupid ran a contest for "favorite people", and the top winner's profile is worth a read. I was giggling the entire time.
[link]
Being paid for consistently is not something that comes easily to me.
Nor should it.
No, I'd like it to. I have issues that get in my way, and they shouldn't.
Dirty laundry: it's not just for the laundry room! Lame.
No, I'd like it to.
You're comfortable with the power dynamics I was describing? Or, would like to be comfortable with them? While I've certainly eaten on someone else's credit card -- many times --, I hate the easy inference that I can't pay my own way.
You're comfortable with the power dynamics I was describing?
As far as I know, I haven't been part of that dynamic, so I see no reason for it to inhibit my acceptance that sometimes (and so far always) it's being done with non-derogatory intentions.
ita -- have you seen that there is an insane men's doubles match? Last time I looked it was
21-21 in the fifth set
and they've been playing for over 5 hours!
