There was one LP figure I didn't like. It was this little kid with an angry expression and freckles and a baseball cap with a turned-up brim and he was clearly very mad about something. I have been told that a couple of times I started crying because he scared me so much.

I remember him! The Little People Bully!

Gordon had an orange body.

Someday, a zillion years from now, a generation of children will wonder why their parents sometimes yodel to themselves, "Gordon. Sooooooosan!"

Yes! He was so clearly a bully! How was he supposed to be fun? "I'm gonna play that he's beating up these other kids. Now he's stealing their car! Whee!"

Ooh, maybe he was there to get thrown into the castle dungeon.

the houseboat

That's the one I was forgetting!

There was one LP figure I didn't like.

Man I hated that kid.

All this Little People talk is taking me to a very funny ROBOT CHICKEN place.

It was this little kid with an angry expression and freckles and a baseball cap with a turned-up brim and he was clearly very mad about something

The Little People Bully!

He was always the evil one in our stories.

Someday, a zillion years from now, a generation of children will wonder why their parents sometimes yodel to themselves, "Gordon. Sooooooosan!"

Or NEEEEEEEEAAAAARRRRRR ....Faaaaaaaaaar!

I had an action figure once. Action Jackson was his name. Bold adventure was his game.

I was waiting for it to get to "Gordon. Sooooooooooosan!"

If you watch Sesame Street today, I *think* Gordon, Susan, Maria and Bob are all on occasionally. Bob's looking a little grey, but Maria is still really young-looking, which makes me wonder if she was, like, 18 when they started taping. (Well, looky here, she's 55 or so now, and started in 1971, so she was about 20 when they started. [link] )

Gordon and Maria seem to be on everytime we watch Sesame Street, but we don't watch it very often. Gordon often does things like having his hand talk to Elmo without ever showing his face, but his voice is unmistakable.

You have 19 years to prepare, woman. I suppose I could just take him to your city for his 25th birthday, and pop him in the nose right there.

Direct violence. I like it.

The Buffistas are far too victims' rights oriented (and inclined, upon occasion, to sing Kumbayah), and although they currently recognize my extreme victimosity, who's to say they won't all be senile by then?

If they're senile by then, odds are they'll be cranky seniles. You’ll be acquitted and they’ll line up to *BAP* the Offspring.

We could open a Bronze Kangaroo Court, though.

I would so want to be a judge on THAT court.

As for the defendant, I must report that my family has had a few “what were you thinking?!?!” moments. Youngest sister, as a toddler, would stick pennies up her nose. (1+ trips to the hospital). Another sister, also then a toddler, kept riding her tricycle down the cement basement stairs (2 trips to the hospital; one visit from the social worker). Narrator!Niece stuck a kernel of corn in her ear (4+ trips to the doctor before he realized it wasn’t an infection or ear wax and had to pull it out with some medical instrument). My favorite, though, was my then-12 y/o sister who was shooting rubber bands off of a very thin crochet hook (for thread rather than yarn) and accidentally let go of the hook rather than the rubber band. The hook ended up in her thumb. It (fortunately) missed the nail and went all the way through the fleshy part of the thumb. Little blood and not much pain. The ER doctor loved it. He not only took an X-ray, he took a Polaroid and called other doctors down from other departments to see the darn thing before they cut the tip of the hook and pulled it out.

I don't know how my mother survived us.