Sir? I'd like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off.

Zoe ,'Serenity'


The Minearverse 5: Closer to the Earth, Further from the Ax  

[NAFDA] "There will be an occasional happy, so that it might be crushed under the boot of the writer." From Zorro to Angel (including Wonderfalls, The Inside and Drive), this is where Buffistas come to anoint themselves in the bloodbath.


Kat - Jan 04, 2007 7:49:01 am PST #2791 of 10001
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo

We have a "It takes a village.." banner in the office at school. Each time I see it I think, "Yep the entire school raises one kid. The other 2699 of you are screwed."


Astarte - Jan 04, 2007 7:49:25 am PST #2792 of 10001
Not having has never been the thing I've regretted most in my life. Not trying is.

The other one will have to find his or her own village.

Well, the sponsorship will come in real handy then. Call central casting.

"I need villagers. Several dozen.

"No, not Village People. Villagers.

"Oh, fuck it. Just send some head shots over."


sarameg - Jan 04, 2007 7:49:36 am PST #2793 of 10001

roomba!

They even come with a remote!

Really a roomba with robot arms is all you'd need.

Just don't put it on the Spot function unless you want a dizzy puking baby.


Matt the Bruins fan - Jan 04, 2007 7:50:29 am PST #2794 of 10001
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand

You know children don't really develop consciences about things like using martial arts to kill their siblings when arguing over crayons until they're several years old, right? RIGHT?


Betsy HP - Jan 04, 2007 7:50:48 am PST #2795 of 10001
If I only had a brain...

Now I'm imagining a child raised by the Village People.

It isn't pretty.


Allyson - Jan 04, 2007 7:51:23 am PST #2796 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

I really do think you should take lori's suggestion and YouTube the ultrasound DVD so Tim can choose a twin. That one will have a better car seat.


Betsy HP - Jan 04, 2007 7:51:47 am PST #2797 of 10001
If I only had a brain...

You know children don't really develop consciences about things like using martial arts to kill their siblings when arguing over crayons until they're several years old, right? RIGHT?

Well, that would solve the which-one-is-cutest problem. Clearly it's the survivor.


Matt the Bruins fan - Jan 04, 2007 7:51:52 am PST #2798 of 10001
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand

Now I'm imagining a child raised by the Village People.

It isn't pretty.

But it is fabulous...


§ ita § - Jan 04, 2007 7:51:54 am PST #2799 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

You know children don't really develop consciences about things like using martial arts to kill their siblings when arguing over crayons until they're several years old, right? RIGHT?

That's what I'm bargaining on.


amych - Jan 04, 2007 7:52:06 am PST #2800 of 10001
Now let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?

You know children don't really develop consciences about things like using martial arts to kill their siblings when arguing over crayons until they're several years old, right? RIGHT?

The trick is to raise enough on pay-per-view cage matches before then to pay for college.