Oh, P-C. Oh dear. Definitely check that the ticket is round-trip.

{{{Aimee}}}

{{{sj}}} Make some tea. It always helps my frame of mind, if nothing else.

A family friend died, and my mom used this opportunity to note that he had a heart attack caused by the tension resulting from his son having an illicit affair. So please don't sully the family name and/or give her tension that could kill her. Promise?

boggles

P-C, I suppose answering all of her comments like this by saying "I promise, Mom" in an overly-sweet tone of voice wouldn't help, would it? Because that's what I'd be tempted to do.

{{Aimée}}

Rivven, huh? Nope, still calling the cat Roothven. It's my mispronunciation, and I like it!

Round trip, right?

Yes.

OMG, that makes me laugh inappropriately.

I haven't even mentioned that the reason she wanted me to fly home for July 4 is that she needed to do a ceremony to cement her prayers to God that got me this job, and she was very stressed that she hadn't performed it yet, and if she died before she did it, it would not be good.

(Note: the "give her tension that could kill her" part was a mere extrapolation and not anything she explicitly said.)

P-C, I suppose answering all of her comments like this by saying "I promise, Mom" in an overly-sweet tone of voice wouldn't help, would it? Because that's what I'd be tempted to do.

She says, "Promise?" And I say, "Yeah." And I still feel bad.

It's my mispronunciation, and I like it!

Heh. A lot of people pronounce "Emeline" Emma-leen. I only ever heard it Emma-lyne. I wonder if I mispronounce it?

Emeline is like unto Caroline, Madeline, etc. Right?

Yes. Perzactly.

Words of wisdom from Steve Malkmus to P-C

Sleep on your back, and ash in your shoes
And always use the old sense of the word
Your third drink will lead you astray
Walking through the back streets of this world
On the last day of your life, don't forget to die
The things that you do will always make your mother cry

{{sj}} it sounds like you've done a lot to me.

A family friend died, and my mom used this opportunity to note that he had a heart attack caused by the tension resulting from his son having an illicit affair. So please don't sully the family name and/or give her tension that could kill her. Promise?

Oh dear Lord, the temptation to respond with "Mother, I solemnly promise to protect the purity of the family name by being so sneaky and discreet that nobody will ever know about my sooper seekrit life as a polyamorous pole-dancing rentboy" would probably be enough to give me a lethal heart attack.

I keep wanting to respond in depth to everything you're going through, but I'm always a few hours behind and everyone else says it first.

But, ugh, I'm just twisting up inside for you -- cheering for the calm you found in your last conversation with your mom, and that your uncle, annoying conservabot though he may otherwise be, is on your side -- but just twisting up because I totally recognize the need and the angry and the longing, and how incredibly hard it is to disengage from family members who are judgmental and unreasonable and incredibly parsimonious with their praise (which can be even worse to cope with than pure incessant negativity, because it just keeps feeding you scraps of hope and then yanking your choke-chain again). And, shit, when I went through all that it was just a bunch of aunts and uncles and cousins, not even someone so messily and intimately tied to my core as my mother.

I'm just awed by every single step you take toward protecting yourself, disengaging, attempting to treat her with respect without sacrificing your own self in the process.

I've decided that the cut I want is an amalgamation of the Juliana/smonster/Aims/JZ variety. I wish I could drag the four of you in with me and do a hair parade and say, Edina Monsoon style, "Like that! I want it like that!"

There will be no awe of me.