Or, alternatively, the Siamese would hop on it while it was cleaning, and ride it around like it was her royal carriage.

Damn. Now I feel like I need to get my Roomba a cat.

they will salvage something from the decoy garbage and triumphantly wave it in your face in order to mock you for having discarded something needed.

This is hilarious and ever so true. I've used the old bait and switch on nearly every job. Plus? I put in the contract that I am allowed to remove at least one garbage bag for each session. And I work by myself most of the time. Having the client right there doesn't really help them, and ups both our anxieties. Most people end up asking me to toss stuff without telling them.

But they're gourmet!

Actually, what you should really stay away from is Danish pølser. People make fun of hot dogs for being whatever's leftover, but pølser are that. Plus cardboard and starch, methinks.

A hysterical vw is a cute vw. Or even heartbreakingly adorable.

Or even heartbreakingly adorable.

I think the correct word is "beautiful."

Expedite!

The thing about clutter being harmless to others isn't really true if the housemates are disturbed and inconvenienced. For example, MIL wishes she could use her sewing machine, but she can't because the table is covered with FIL's paperwork that must never be disturbed. Sister's roomie is angry about not having access to most of the house and that she's ashamed to have anybody come over and behold the horror. This is why I think the need to cover every square inch of space with stuff is a territorial dominance thing. If only they could be made happy with the chance to just go pee out in the yard...

I think the correct word is "beautiful."

No, we KNOW that's the correct word.

If only they could be made happy with the chance to just go pee out in the yard...

This just made me laugh and laugh and laugh.... My co-workers think I'm nuts.

Oh, god. I just have to share this with you guys, but Emily's not home yet, and I don't want her reading it here.

So. Freaking. Funny.

Expedite!

Hotdogs are on a par with kraft cheese slices in terms of being fake food, afaic. By which I mean food that looks enough like something I know, something that is nice, that the full horror of the plasticity makes it utterly unpalatable. See also twinkies.

YMMV. We have (what I naturally consider to be) proper sausages in the UK. Franks are...they're like pretend sausages.

shudders

I'm sorry, I appear to be ranting about something you enjoy, which is very crass of me. Enough. I have eaten them in silent misery in order to not offend hosts on occasion, but hotdogs are not on my list of Yummy Things. YYummyThingsMV. (My list includes haggis and yorkshire pudding with onion gravy, for example, as well as chocolate-coated dates stuffed with almonds.)

No, I can understand that. And I think a lot of people who eat hotdogs would say they're junk. Although there is definitely a difference between Niman Ranch, Nathan's and Hebrew National and your avg. hotdog. I also have proper sausages. Cantella's are great. I bought the Niman Ranch franks because I needed a change, I was eating so many Cantella's. This period of induction is going to mean a lot of meat-eating for me (I'm pretty carnivorous already). Since sausages are very easy to prepare, I rely on them a lot. And I was getting a bit tired of the usual, so I bought franks as well. FTR, I don't like the taste of Niman Ranch franks as much as Hebrew National. But with Niman Ranch I know they have no bone meal or any such things in their feed (thus safer as far as mad cow) and they offer no-nitrates varieties.

I have tried haggis once. It was not as offal as I thought it would be.