Every day, Allyson.

Just recently, actually.

IF I were one to do imaginary hugs or such through the box, I would do so for Allyson.

This is only kinda public.

ok, I'm up too late and must go tobed, VM and GA on one night. Here's hoping for good dreams.

That's when he mentioned that patients who have careers/hobbies in the arts/creative fields also describe that hollowness.

That's very interesting to know. I've definitely had trouble "getting it up" for my performances. I'm excited to perform but I'm doing a bad job of rehearsing properly and haven't been able to figure out why.

I've also had depression since I was pretty little. Didn't figure that out for a long time, though. I took Effexor in 1995 for a year or so then got off it swearing I'd never go on anti-deps again. Things got so bad towards the end of last year that my parents demanded I do it again and I figured I'd try. It was a good decision. Luckily for me, I haven't been feeling totally hollow or ennervated. I think maybe it's because I'm on a low dosage.

I wish I had closer friends in real life (who aren't my ex). I get energized by being around people I care for who care for me.

I do know what you mean about preferring depression to numbness. That's why I got off Effexor. I couldn't feel highs. I feel in love (with the self-same ex). We were over the moon but there was a way it was all distant from me. I felt robbed by the drug.

I hope you find something (whether meds, therapy, or whatever) that makes you feel better and as creatively productive as you want to be. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I can almost be convinced that the naked-snatch thing isn't just about looking like a kid.

Maybe it's about not wanting to get hair caught between your teeth.

Maybe it's about not wanting to get hair caught between your teeth.

Yeah. Or to make cleanup easer after adventures with edible undies....

GA: Alex was a COMPLETE dick. He forgot that his first duty is to the patient. Well, Dr. Mrs. Shepard will remind him, now won't she? And does he not realized that he is a witness, and when this shit goes to trial (if the hospital doesn't settle, which they probably will), he will be called to testify, and could lose his job over this. Asshole.

Did I tell you guys I got a bed for Ruby that matches mine?

I have the Pop Flower set from Isaac Mizrahi, so it's all orange and pink and bright. And I found a wicker basket on clearance at Ross, the same shade of orange, lined with this soft cottony fabric with an orange flower print. So I put a soft pillow and blanket in it. She lurves it, and is asleep right now inside it, next to my desk.

Ruby's bed sounds awesome.

As does your Pop Flower set.

I love your description of therapy, and wish every therapy-resistant depressed person would read it and have things go click.

And, in something I never thought I'd say, Billytea said what I was planning to say about shaved beaver.

Umm.

Huh.

Carry on.

I just want to clarify that I'm not one of those "you just need meds" kinda people. In fact I was really resistant to taking meds. OTOH, I've been in psychotherapy on and off for 20 years. It's a long hard process. But unless someone's got something like schizophrenia, which is clearly related to nature vs. nurture, I'd never recommend meds without psychotherapy.