this does not make it any less Monday, and I still need to go to work.

I was trying to make it less Monday with the shiny boots, and that didn't work either.

Speaking of stripes, I recently learnt that this dress is a perfect fit in my size. I hate when that happens. Someone invite me to a wedding or something, okay?

sarameg - I'd like to stop yawning too. Caffeine doesn't seem to help. Why?

There are no asses in my family—wait, that's not right. There's at least two I can think of this morning.

Let me say instead that no one in my family has any booty to speak of.

Hey I just noticed the Royals have a better record than the Yankees. Maybe they can avoid being the worst team in baseball after all. Maybe even not the worst team in the AL.

We have a very flat-butted section of the family, but we still accept them. And then there's the big-bootay side, of which my immediate family is not. We are moderate in our assedness.

In high school, I was often teased for not having an ass.

My Dad's nickname in high school was GB, for Girly Butt.

Hey I just noticed the Royals have a better record than the Yankees. Maybe they can avoid being the worst team in baseball after all. Maybe even not the worst team in the AL.

Did you see they had a spelling bee in front of Kauffman Stadium offering box seats to anybody who could spell Mark Grudzielanek and Doug Mientkiewicz's names?

Did you see they had a spelling bee in front of Kauffman Stadium offering box seats to anybody who could spell Mark Grudzielanek and Doug Mientkiewicz's names?

I missed that. I wouldn't come out of that contest with box seats.

GodDAMN. This stupid ODBC driver is working completely differently on my new laptop. I can't work out why.

I wouldn't come out of that contest with box seats.

Oh! I would! I would!

Can't be any harder than Saltalamacchia (ATL), or Isringhausen (STL), or Yastrzemski. You actually pronounce all the letters in Grudzielanek, and most of them in Mientkiewicz!

This stupid ODBC driver is working completely differently on my new laptop. I can't work out why.

Gah. I hate that. Sometimes ODBC will work differently on different computers for no discernable reason. All I can suggest is check the ODBC version, and maybe reinstall the driver.

ION, Man Gets $218 Trillion Phone Bill

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia -- A Malaysian man said he nearly fainted when he received a $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution, a newspaper reported Monday.

Yahaya Wahab said he disconnected his late father's phone line in January after he died and settled the 84 ringgit ($23) bill, the New Straits Times reported.

But Telekom Malaysia later sent him a 806,400,000,000,000.01 ringgit ($218 trillion) bill for recent telephone calls along with orders to settle within 10 days or face legal proceedings, the newspaper reported.

It wasn't clear whether the bill was a mistake, or if Yahaya's father's phone line was used illegally after after his death.

"If the company wants to seek legal action as mentioned in the letter, I'm ready to face it," the paper quoted Yahaya as saying. "In fact, I can't wait to face it," he said.