A battery can't electrocute you, right? You'd just be risking jacking up the light.

I love the idea, but I need a bigger bath. It's kinda full in there with me and the three rubber duckies.

I think I've found the right work shirt. It's got multiple darts and fits me both at the ribs and the breastesses. Thing is, it cost $11.99, and that makes me suspicious. Also, it comes in weird colours.

Aw, crud, it is only me who likes Pynchon jokes.

Not hardly, Slothrop.

I need a roadtrip. Where should I go?

I need a roadtrip. Where should I go?

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Don't forget that left turn at Albuquerque.

If you're going.... to San Francisco....

hands you flowers

Thing is, it cost $11.99, and that makes me suspicious.

Well, if it turns out to have some secret freakitosity, at least you're only out $11.99; it's not a major sartorial investment.

Also, it comes in weird colours.

Slightly more problematic. Does it at least come in white? Is it even a little bit cotton, and hence possibly dyeable?

Allyson--

First, go up the coast and stop when you need to to eat and look at the ocean. If you have a day or two, keep going until you get to San Luis Obispo, and hang out there.

Second--SO sorry about my late notes to you. I suck. You will have them by dinnertime--I hope that's okay.

Also, what Robin said. Up the coast, stop and look at the pretty things along the way, and if you have a morsel of money to spare stop at the Madonna Inn and revel in the cheese. Possibly in the caveman room.

Or continue all the way up to San Francisco and get the Zmayhem tour. As a bonus, when your friend and her partner move here, you can tell them all the sooper seekrit fabulous places they need to go and look all insider-y and cool.

No need to be sorry Robin. You don't even have to read it, as I intend to scrap it and start anew. It was such poop, I need to split it into two shorter essays that actually have a point.

Driving up the coast sounds wonderful.