If anyone wants to send me their gay porn, I'll be happy to check it out and report back to you. It's just the kind of giving person I am.

The sense I always get from the anti-gay-marriage cartel is that if gay marriage were legal, you'd have gay men kidnapping straight men off the streets and forcing them into some kind of unholy union.

The few I hear from on this tend to go on about "the children". The theory apparently being: as long as we don't suggest that homosexuality is in any way OK, the children will never, ever grow up to be gay. Which is why no one was ever gay before the late '60s.

A fact that would come as quite a surprise to Oscar Wilde.

If we let The Gays marry, someone's going to force me to have sex with a dog!!!

No, if we let The Gays marry, one of them will KIDNAP your dog!lover, and force the dog(no longer your lover) into an unholy union.

No, really. I heard on the internets that it's all part of the Gay Agenda. Lull The Straights into complacency with the "Gay Marriage" plan, make The Straights think it's cool to mate with their pets and farm animals (and, in Montana, farm equipment), and then BAM! The Gays will swoop in and kidnap your non-human!lovers.

Really. I read it on Drudge.com.

The theory apparently being: as long as we don't suggest that homosexuality is in any way OK, the children will never, ever grow up to be gay. Which is why no one was ever gay before the late '60s.

That's the same thing with sex ed, too, right? Don't tell The Children about sex, and they'll never have it.

Oh, here's the quote:

John Cornyn: The senator from Texas issued a statement in which he advocated a constitutional ban on gay marriage with the following logic: "It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. . . . Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife."

From most of the anti-gay stuff I've read from the religous right doesn't seem to be concerned about lesbians.

Will someone please think of the lesbians?

But, see, I'm pretty damn sure that gay men are only looking to marry other gay men.

Tep, why do you hate America?

Don't tell The Children about sex, and they'll never have it.

Yep. Which is why the Virgin Birth is such a big deal. Other than that, there was never a child born to non-married people until Sex Ed infected our schools.

I'm going to take the controversial stance that turtles only have sex with other turtles.*

* mainly because I can't figure out how anything but a turtle could manage the mechanics and thank you NO, I don't need enlightenment otherwise.

Will someone please think of the lesbians?

We may be able to find a few volunteers.