I don't want to marry Clooney. I don't even want to have sex with him. I just want him to take me out to dinner and dancing and make me feel like a million bucks occasionally.

This should be doable, right?

I answer the phone "Good morning, X Library Reference Desk. How may I help you?" It's long enough that even people fuddled by phone greetings can get the last part.

I will volunteer to stop Clooney. Just get me a meeting with him.

So, while I was out on a run, I swung through a McDonalds drivethrough and picked up a Shamrock Shake, which I haven't had since I was a wee lad, and thought might be a nice treat.

It was TEH NAST! I threw most of it out. Blech.

I just want him to take me out to dinner and dancing and make me feel like a million bucks occasionally.

Would your hips be pressed together?

Also, does your husband lurk here?

Sean, when you say "out on a run," you mean that thing you do to increase health and cardiovascular capacity, right? And you swung through a McD's for a shake during said run? Are you bucking for the title of Big Dog or Bubba? Hmmmm?

I don't want to marry Clooney. I don't even want to have sex with him. I just want him to take me out to dinner and dancing and make me feel like a million bucks occasionally.

Were I Clooney's wife I would be more than alright with this.

Also alright:
big hugs
the occasional snuggle
foot rubs for pregnant women and/or waitresses
kissing him on the cheek (don't squeal in his ear)
licking him on the cheek (just not too slobbery)
showing up with as date at HS Reunion
pretending to flirt with to drive an ex wild with jealousy

I'm more than reasonable and will share (a little).

Sean, when you say "out on a run," you mean that thing you do to increase health and cardiovascular capacity, right? And you swung through a McD's for a shake during said run? Are you bucking for the title of Big Dog or Bubba? Hmmmm?

Let's not focus on that now. Sean found a McDonald's product nasty. What's that sound? Is it ... personal growth?

(And no, I don't mean undiscovered mould)

The problem with giving away the gift bag to charity is that a lot of those Gift Certificates in the Oscar Gift Bags are non-transferrable. There was some chichi hotel in BC interviewed because there regularly have a package trip in the Oscar gift bag, and they were saying that even if George Clooney's mother called with George's gift certificate, they would not honour it. They also said that they've had very few people use them.

Sean, when you say "out on a run," you mean that thing you do to increase health and cardiovascular capacity, right?

Um, no. Out on a run for work. Production assistant are also called runners, because much of your job is running out to get supplies, to drop off paperwork at accounting or legal, pick up paychecks and other completed paperwork, that sort of thing. I was in my car at the time, so not only was I not getting nice cardio-vascular exercise, I was really just sitting on my scrawny, flat butt.

What's that sound? Is it ... personal growth?

(And no, I don't mean undiscovered mould)

Thpppppppbbbbtt

so not only was I not getting nice cardio-vascular exercise, I was really just sitting on my scrawny, flat butt.

Oh thank GOD.

Some things just shouldn't be messed with.