It's nice to know where my crazy ranks. So often, I haven't the slightest.

Way the fuck over on the really-not-that-crazy end of the spectrum, love. Promise.

There's a line between the talking crazy over the top fan stuff and actually DOING crazy over the top fan stuff. Not a fine line. And you, Empress, haven't crossed it (that I know of).

wrod. This. Or at least that's what I tell myself when I fantasize sending Keith Olbermann Dick Cheney's ear in a jar. Perhaps I've said too much.

There's a line between the talking crazy over the top fan stuff and actually DOING crazy over the top fan stuff.

But it seems to be much easier to come up with a way to do crazed fan stuff for a vampire character (i.e., scratch your neck so it bleeds, whatev) than for a fictional wizard ("Harry! I have...a...broom at home! JUST LIKE YOU!!!!").

Vampires are too easy to fangirl.

Also, Jilli -- based on your commentary, I read the Twilight Kisses books (there are 5, right?). They're cute, and I like Raven a lot.

But it seems to be much easier to come up with a way to do crazed fan stuff for a vampire character (i.e., scratch your neck so it bleeds, whatev) than for a fictional wizard ("Harry! I have...a...broom at home! JUST LIKE YOU!!!!").

We're talking Empress here. "Hey Daniel... I have a place you can store your wand, baby."

I don't know whether to be touched that y'all know me so well to know that I'm at home with violent imagery or insulted that you know I'm just sending woof tickets and would never be able to "Travis Bickel" for Keith. That's just how crazy I am.

Also, Jilli -- based on your commentary, I read the Twilight Kisses books (there are 5, right?). They're cute, and I like Raven a lot.

looks at bookshelf

Yes, there are 5 out. And aren't they just darling?

I'm enjoying the inappropriate giddy joy of the tweeners. There are so few opportunities to be insanely giddy, and 12-14 is such a perfect age for it, especially if you have a cohort to be insanely giddy with.

I'm all for insane giddiness (hell, I haven't given mine up), but the Twilight fandom feels less and less like insane giddiness, and more like scary cult that is going to kill the object of its affections.

"I'm gonna pet it and squeeze it and call it george, uh, Edward." Yeah, Jilli, I feel you on that.

It's always advisable to remember the classic SNL skit about the Mr. Belvedere fan club.

Mr. Chairman: Well, I guess we can vote.. but we really shouldn't have to, people.. alright.. all those in favor who want to kill Mr. Belvedere, say Aye.

Group: Aye!

Mr. Chairman: All those who don't think he should be killed, say Nay.

Group: Nay!

Mr. Chairman: The Nays have it. He lives. But the vote shouldn't have been that close. Which brings me to an area I think we need to discuss. Now, I got a letter from Mr. Belvedere's publicist. It seems somebody has been killing his housepets again. Now, I'm not gonna ask which one of you is doing it, but I do think we need to do our exercises.

Comic: What exercise?

Phil: The exercise that helps keep the line between reality and fantasy a little less blurry. You'll see.

Mr. Chairman: Okay, who wants to start?

Cheryl: Okay. I should want to shake hands with Mr. Belvedere, I shouldn't want to grab a lock of his hair.

Mr. Chairman: That's good, Cheryl. And, even though it would be really neat to have a lock of his hair, we know that's not right. Someone else?

Mike: Yeah. Okay. I should want to send him a fan letter telling him how good he was in the episode where he teaches everyone how to cook, but I shouldn't want to type the letter on a death certificate.

Mr. Chairman: Yes! But, then, you learned that one the hard way, huh? Okay, so let's keep going. Come on.

Adam: I should like watching "Mr. Belvedere" a lot, but I shouldn't have to masturbate at the end of every episode.

Mr. Chairman: That's right. That is right. Discipline. Next?

Melanie: Uh, yeah! I should want to cook Brocktoon a simple dinner if he truly accepts the offer, but not if I sense that he accepts it telepathically.

Mr. Chairman: Yes, okay.. but let's keep the exercise in the form of "should" and "shouldn't", okay? Next?

Phil: I should want to cook him a simple meal, but I shouldn't want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key.

Mr. Chairman: [ considering ] Good.

Doug: I got one. I should want to say hi to him nicely, I shouldn't want to keep him in a big jar in my basement.

Mr. Chairman: Alright, Doug, that's great, we understand that now. Go on, though. Why shouldn't you put him in a big jar in your basement?

Doug: Because.. his breath would fog up the glass, and I wouldn't be able to see him..?

Yes, there are 5 out. And aren't they just darling?

Are there going to be more? Or are we supposed to infer from Alexander's "eternally" at the end of book 5 that he's going to make Raven a vampire? Because she was conflicted about becoming a vampire, right? I assumed "eternally" was a quip -- if not on Alexander's part (because he doesn't seem like a quippy guy), then on the author's part.