I guess I just find it disturbing that YA is now all about these erotically charged, but sexless, relationships where the main character's cluelessness is what preserves the purity of the relationship

Purity of the relationship? There isn't even a relationship. There's a forced mockery of love, with one half of the interaction being a kid with PTSD and what looks like at least situational asexuality going on.

Some people are going to want to fuck like rabbits when they have to fight to the death and kill other teenagers.

I'm not judging anyone, however, who isn't like me.

What that has to do with even the popular impression of Twilight is beyond me.

And thus my frustration with this particular literary fight.

Although, mostly what I said was "My main point of comparison is that I've never wanted to read Twilight, and I've been wanting to read Hunger Games for a long time."

Although, mostly what I said was "My main point of comparison is that I've never wanted to read Twilight, and I've been wanting to read Hunger Games for a long time."

Heh, yeah.

I think your DH is over-reading the relationship between Katniss & Peeta, if he really sees Peeta as Edmund. Certainly Katniss absolutely cannot be bothered about the whole romance element, and when she is forced to, it's at least half strategic rather than felt.

Which, frankly, I rather appreciate, since I suspect that would have been my response in the same situation. "Seriously, at a time like this, you want to talk about romance?"

I've read the first Twilight and all three Hunger Games:

Bella: insecure, moons after Edward from word "go," doesn't have much of an active role in anything in her life. Romance and Edward over everything.

Katniss: relentlessly protagonist, physically very capable, cold-hearted (seeming) pragmatist. Family and survival over everything, romance is a luxury.

Edward: creepy, stalkery, makes decisions for Bella's "own good" without her say.

Peeta: tries to help and support Katniss without taking away her own agency (arguably, she takes away his at various points).

(I think all of that is sufficient generic enough not to require white-fonting.)

Yeah, tell hubby that all your invisible friends say he's wrong like a wrong thing. They're both YA hetero love triangles, but that's about it for similarities.

I don't know from Twilight. So, I'll just put that out there.

But when R invokes the 'warm tummy feelings' with Peeta, and then the other relationship with "well, the wolfy one" (and I know you know this is a paraphrase of your paraphrase), it sounds like he's reacting to the relationship triangle - the difficult choice of one girl between two different boys.

If that's the case, I'll admit that it is a pattern that I'd love to see less of in YA. Some books do it really well (buffista authors, esp), but some it feels like a plug-in structure, and I'm sure things must be more complicated.

Or, as ita ! said.

Also, this could just be my peeve.

The other issue I have is that the whole focus of Hunger Games, frankly, is NOT romance. It's (often heavy handed-ly) about violence, reality TV and the horrors of war.

Certainly Katniss absolutely cannot be bothered about the whole romance element, and when she is forced to, it's at least half strategic rather than felt.

This is why the love triangle doesn't bug me. Because it's so fucked-up and intertwined with the strategy of, you know, staying alive.

The other issue I have is that the whole focus of Hunger Games, frankly, is NOT romance. It's (often heavy handed-ly) about violence, reality TV and the horrors of war.

Yeah, it's not like every chapter (or any chapter, really) was basically about WHO WILL KATNISS CHOOOOOOSE?

Agreed on the violence & horrors of TV and war Kat.

I guess I just find it disturbing that YA is now all about these erotically charged, but sexless, relationships where the main character's cluelessness is what preserves the purity of the relationship. I find this neither realistic, interesting, or healthy. I would just as soon that my YA be devoid of any references to eroticism than have it flirt with sex but suggest that ignorance is the best defense against anything untoward.

Sorry to pile on your DH, Raq, who I realize is not here to defend his POV, but I have to strongly disagree with this interpretation of current YA books. I mean: yes, there are a lot of (frankly rather interchangeable) paranormal romance books* in particular that are all about the erotically charged relationship between the main girl and the guy she can never have because they are sworn mortal enemies, or between the main girl and the two guys she must choose between (though she will always choose the one who is her sworn mortal enemy). But that represents maybe 20-25% of what's out there in YA right now, not to mention the fact that in many of these books, there's quite a lot of sex! Twilight is all about the chastity (and the forced repression of female sexual desire, but that's another rant), and some books have followed its very successful lead, but many others have explored sexuality and desire in very different ways.

(Also, I think it's not at *all* unrealistic to portray a teenage relationship as erotically charged but not ultimately leading to sex. Certainly my own relationships as a clueless teenager followed that pattern!)

And anyway, I do think Hunger Games breaks this mold in a few different ways. For one thing, as others have said, the romance is very explicitly not important to Katniss; she's got too much else on her mind, like trying not to die, to decide whether or not she wants to be with either Peeta or Gale. But also, I found the love triangle aspect of the story refreshing, because for once, I really could not tell who she might end up with. I didn't know who I wanted her to end up with, I didn't know who she wanted (because she herself didn't know, and didn't particularly care to figure it out), and both guys, for all that they were very different characters, seemed like equally plausible romantic possibilities.

*(I'm not saying that all paranormal romance books are interchangeable, by the way! It's a genre like any other, and of course there are some authors who do it really well and use it to tell an interesting and believable story.)

But also, I found the love triangle aspect of the story refreshing, because for once, I really could not tell who she might end up with. I didn't know who I wanted her to end up with, I didn't know who she wanted (because she herself didn't know, and didn't particularly care to figure it out)

This, so much. For once, instead of finding herself attracted to two guys, the heroine discovers two guys are attracted to *her*, and she's a little baffled by the whole thing, especially in her situation. I really appreciated that take on it.