Thanks, vw. I feel so petty posting about it when you have things going on in your life that deserve *actual* concern, you know?

Steph, it sounds like you could tell him your feelings (based on the convo you've already had). I know neither way is fun (telling or not telling), but at least you'd have your answers if you talked to him about it. It's understandable that you'd go away and digest and then have some more questions for him. Good luck no matter what you decide.

OK, Teppy's Brain. Stop stressing Teppy out when she's sick and feeling low and shitty and tired and predisposed to letting all the old demons run around anyway. Just STEP OFF!

I think things are murkey, because of the unntraditional type relationship you guys have. Talkinga bout stuff and being honest is good. Sometimes stuff will come up that could be worrisome, but I don't think that if he didn't care about you he would even be going into that kind of discussion at all.

Also, I'm not in this dude's brain, but I am pretty positive he does NOT find you disgusting. Really, fucking truly-o. First of all, in general, crazy talk, though I know you don't believe it. Second, you guys have been intimate too many times for him to really be choking back loathing just to get laid. You can't fake that kind of physical connection, you know it's true. YOU KNOW. Your demons are just fucking with you while you're low.

{{{Teppy}}} I hope things all work out the way you want it to.

vw, best of luck with your appointment. I'll be thinking of you.

Okay, I'm sorry to be all memememe when other people have Actual Legitimate Worries, but I'm going to be a shallow selfish jerk anyway.

Can I just say, nobody needs to apologize for talking about their life here. And people who are going through hard times (at least here) do not begruge their friends' happiness. I want to hear about the good stuff and all the other stuff too.

Tep, here's my Really Useful Concept for today. Which I'm quoting from one of these shows we watch or somebody we know, I can't remember which. "I don't want to be crazy in love. I want to be sane in love."

Also, a lot of people who have the conversation you had with The Boy? They wind up being with that person for a good long time. Because their relationship is already based on friendship and honest communication. Throw in the good sex and it's actually a pretty strong relationship you've got going.

Also, a lot of people who have the conversation you had with The Boy? They wind up being with that person for a good long time. Because their relationship is already based on friendship and honest communication. Throw in the good sex and it's actually a pretty strong relationship you've got going.

See, yeah, that's what I was going for too.

I feel so petty posting about it when you have things going on in your life that deserve *actual* concern, you know?

Can I just say, nobody needs to apologize for talking about their life here. And people who are going through hard times (at least here) do not begruge their friends' happiness. I want to hear about the good stuff and all the other stuff too.

This. Totally this. I don't ever Ever EVER want to hear that what's going on in my life is keeping other people from feeling like they can post what's going on in their's. EVER. You hear me? ALL of you. I just babble on and on and on, because I'm bored and scared and you guys keep me sane. And part of what keeps me sane is being able to be involved in other people's lives. So there. No guilt, k?

Steph, from what you posted last night, it seemed the talk went really well. I'd say you shouldn't worry. The fact that he felt worried that he was the one initiating more often and you said you were consciously holding back from calling him more often is key, I think. When I'm involved with someone, I do take it amiss if I call more often than they do. I feel like I'm forcing myself on them. The fact that you gave him evidence that you were consciously trying to call less because you were worried about forcing yourself on *him* will reassure him a great deal, I think. From your description, it sounds like you guys are on the same page about a lot of things.

As for Great Cinematic Romance...well, it could be that his past relationships haven't gone well because he was chasing after that and didn't recognize other kinds of romance when he saw them. If he likes you and values you, and it sounds like he does, he'll hang on and see where things are going. Eventually, he'll either decide it's love or not. And it sounds like you're still having to decide that yourself because you've been pretty adamant about not using the "b" word.

He talked about how the fact that he's not obsessed with me, not constantly thinking about me and driving himself crazy with it, is proof that this isn't the Real Thing.

actually, from my experience- that would define the real thing - Someone that fits so naturally in your life and doesn't make you crazy all the time. But I've said befor that I don't believe in the grand passion theory of romance - - I actually believe that a sustainable relationship grows into a strrong quiet passion.

actually , reading both accounts you wrote - I think you really are on the same page - You both are skittish about going too far and too fast - and your doubts are when you are away from him - not with him.

by the way - guys looking for a convienent ( I can't spell that word) fuck - don't hang out , take pictures to share with your friends , and lend their gloves. they just fuck and go.

It's the cold talking, Steph. Step away from thinking about relationships until you're getting oxygen to your brain.

All I can keep thinking is "He thinks I'm fat and gross and disgusting and just can't come up with a way to say it."

Ha! You know this is crazy, don't you?

Nothing is too petty to post about if it's driving you crazy.

In light of my previous sentence, I will complain that my dishwasher seems to be dying. It swishes around hot water, but not in such a way as to actually wash anything. Those of you who don't have dishwashers are free to start tuning the world's smallest violins. One problem is that I have had to spend a lot on my house already this year. The other is that Consumer Reports likes the Sears dishwashes best in my price range.

Pro Sears: Easy to buy, good quality merchandise

Con: These are the people who took THREE MONTHS to deliver my new refrigerator.