Much skimming on my part. Spent today trying to do enough work not to get in trouble and then move on to filling out resumes and job applications. Depression is setting in. Just not seeing much out there I'm interested in. Or the interesting stuff is stuff I'd need a foot in the door on and I don't know someone there... I'm worrying about how I'm going to make the mortgage.

Fay, the cut looks cute!

Hi, Fern!

vw, I'm sorry to hear you're still having so many health issues. Someone needs to tell Pharaoh to let your people go.

I can't remember both of David's questions. My spring memory is of a day last spring. I had driven to Occidental to go to a health integrationist appointment. Since that's quite a distance from here, I decided to hit Mostly Natives Nursery in Tomales while I was that far north. It was a glorious spring day. Everything freshly scrubbed. Plants really really green. Gorgeous rock outcroppings with lichen and moss highlights. Wildflowers. I called my best friend and told him we *had* to do a road trip out that way on some spring day.

Who's about? Anyone? Bueller?

Still here but about to go to bed. If I'm a good girl.

Ah bed. I would be going there as well if I hadn't conked out on the couch for two hours earlier. Now I am awake and futless.

I resisted doing that because it messes me up for work and gets me in a bad cycle. However, I sure wasn't very productive with the time I spent up. Internet, internet, internet. Did a little looking at job ads, but it was mostly having Freaks & Geeks on in the background and catching up with b.org

And cursing the damned headaches/eyeaches.

Howzabout you? Tanned, rested and ready?

I would like to sleep, but no such luck. I couldn't resist the nap earlier--it was too powerful and overcame my defenses.

I've been having that problem for a long while now. Don't know what's going on and with the impending layoff it's a terrible time to try to find out. Have been absolutely exhausted. Spend nearly all my lunch hours at work taking a nap to rest my burning eyes. When I get home, I often do nothing but go to sleep. My employer really is getting my best right now. There's nothing left over for me.

Bleagh. I'm surprised I've stayed up this late. It's my usual MO, but it's been unusual lately.

I hope you get to sleep when you'd like to, Kristin.

Thanks, Spidra. I think I'm going to try again shortly. Night...

Spidra, I went to Tomales High School from '83 to '85. It's pretty country.

My temp-to-perm job is likely to go perm at any time now!

It's a big group of dinosaurs--T-Rexes!--that all live and hunt together. They like being in a stereumtype.

You have had way more than your fair share of health crap recently. The way that you have dealt with things methodically and calmly has been most impressive. I know you feel like you freak out, but you have handled things so well. I see you dealing what is thrown your way with solid judgment and careful analysis. When you get to the other side of this challenge you are going to look back and realize just how well you coped with this nightmare.

I couldn't possibly say it better, so I'll just point and nod.

Thanks so much guys. It feels really good to hear that. Believe it or not, things have been a little shaky, and I need all the encouragement I can get. I was telling my therapist about this yesterday. When things start going wrong (like the last month or so) I start believing in myself less, which causes me to believe in others less, so I start reaching out in not-so-healthy ways. I’ve seen a little of that the last few days…especially where treatment providers are concerned. I want to nip that in the bud, but other than that, I do think I’m handling it fairly well.

Yay for MG having a good vacation with K-Bug. Glad you made it home safe and sound.

Hope Kristin and Spidra are off having pleasant dreams.

I slept for 12 hours, and I think I still need more. Emily had a hell of a time trying to wake me up. I’m surprised she didn’t give up…She probably wanted coffee :).

Today on the docket we have working on the quilt, napping, and knitting and crocheting group. It sounds like a lovely day. Let’s hope my body cooperates. No more of this pain and puking thing.