wrod.

I feel so bad for you all MG. I have visions of where C can go in the future. My hope is that she can see, sometime in the future, that there are other ways to deal with things, and sometimes it isn't all that bad to face things. Sending you lots of strength so you can get through the conversation. Glad you and the K-bug are getting away soon. It shouldhelp the two of you heal. Seriously, you given your kids a great example of good parenting. I'm just so sorry it is so hard on you all.

Ok, light hearted aside to all this. As I think I've mentioned, K-Bug and I are going on a big road trip in a couple of days. Her birthday is at the end of the month. My mom has gotten her a AAA memebership.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Oh, and yes, K-Bug has a DMV appointment ON her birthday.

{{{{{{{MG}}}}}}}

I'm so sorry. What an emotionally draining situation for you. I'm so sad that C. doesn't understand what she will be giving up, but I'm relieved that you have the strength to draw boundaries that need to be drawn and protect your family from further toxicity.

You are a good person and a wonderful mother. K-Bug's handling of this situation is proof of that.

Just heard real thunder

that just doesn't happen here. and the sun is shinning

{{MG}} I'm so sorry to hear about C. I hope you have a good talk with her tonight and can part amicably. Unfortunately, she is 15 years old and they aren't known for stellar decision making skills. Very frustrating to bump up against.

What a fucking mess, MG. I'm so sorry for all of you. I know that C's actions are very wounding to you, and a huge betrayal of trust. I can't help but feel bad for her, knowing how much the stability and responsibility you offered is exactly what she needs. She's on the highway to massive fuckups now, and she's going to learn everything the hard way. It's so easy to see her path from here, and it sucks that she doesn't have the strength to know better.

{{{MG}}} I've been through the same thing and I hope you feel less used. You probably did C some good in the long run--you certainly tried and did everything you could to help her. It still sucks because her life could have been better.

{{{Suz}}} Insent a bit ago. Hang in there, doll.

I keep meaning to update and now the day is getting away from me. Debetesse survived the night and got an early start for where she's interviewing today. Her bags are most likely heavier now with all the dog hair she's accumulated. Poor dear.

I'm kinda thinking Bailey's going to shun me when I come home without his new bestest friend. I better pick him up a treat on my way home to make up for my lack of Debet.

I know it can't possibly be anything but very cold comfort, MG, but I remember an article in Salon from a few months back, by a woman who had poured a great deal of time and effort and love into mentoring a teenage girl in her community, only to see the girl piss it all away. She was left frustrated and heartsick and feeling very, very betrayed.

Among the letters responding to this article were a couple from women who had been that girl, years ago in another lifetime. Both of them had fucked up mightily, betrayed their mentors' trust, and gone through years of unhappiness before getting their lives together. But both of them said that it was their mentors' high expectations, toughness, and refusal to shield them from the consequences of their own screwups that had helped them, even years later. They still feel awful about their betrayals and don't know how to atone or approach the people they let down, but they both said it mattered hugely that they could look back and remember someone who'd expected better of them, who'd believed in them enough to feel betrayed when they failed. It took years (in one woman's case, a decade), but that trust and those expectations were a lifeline. It was just crushing for everyone involved that they weren't able to grab that lifeline when it was first offered, but years later, when they were ready, it mattered.

But, oh, I'm so heartsick for you and for C in the here and now.