Tivo is the only thing I can't use without a remote. Granted, I would have to stand up , walk across the room and press buttons , but I could do it.

Our DVD player doesn't have the buttons to move around on the all important interactive menu.

Emmett was hunting down the easter eggs on The Incredibles. So we know he had the remote. And he was a lazy slug planted right in front of the TV. But a complete excavation has uncovered nothing. Well, I haven't pulled the couch all the way out yet, and I suspect that once I vacuum in there tomorrow I'll find a family of wild racoons underneath.

Our DVD player doesn't have the buttons to move around on the all important interactive menu.

Once I was at a friend's house - I was introducing my friend and his gf to Firefly. He borrowed a DVD player but forgot the remote. Turned out we could watch only the first episode of each DVD.

Next time I visited, I brought the video-out cable for my iBook and we used that.

Well, you are getting a clean house. Did You look under Emmet's pillow? places I leave the remote - buried in the couch, by the fridge, next to the computer, in the bathroom, on the dresser or bed. really - the remote follows me around.

And I found Jacqueline's cool and stylish glasses which have been missing for a year.

Wait. A *year*? How does a person lose glasses for a YEAR?

See, this is proof that my eyesight is shite, because if I lost my glasses for 10 minutes, I'd end up skewering my spleen with a Sharpie, or something, because I'd be wandering around the apartment blindly. *Literally* blindly.

When friends ask me if I've seen the remote, my usual response is, "Did you look up your butt?"

That advice has yet to prove useful.

That is the standard question in our house too tommyrot. While the "up" part has not been correct, we do have a family with dead butt syndrome. No "princess and the pea" in this house.

Once again, Steph is me. I have three pairs of glasses just in case the regular pair... I don't know, explodes or something. Along with my contacts. Civilization could collapse, and I'd need them. My visual field is about six inches. I'd never survive in the wild.

I only have one pair of glasses, but I can see fine without them - I just get migraines and eventual eye strain if I go to long without. Shoot, most weekends I forget to put them on.

I bet these were not JZ's only pair - just a favorite pair.

They won't let me link to it, but there's a post on this board where a remote control was indeed found "up someone's butt". An incredibly obese man who'd lost his remote and it was found somewhere amongst the voluminous folds near the fundament of his 400+ lb. frame.

Wait. A *year*? How does a person lose glasses for a YEAR?

She's been squinting a lot and making me nervous while she drives.

But you have to basically make her wear a velcro suit and stick things on to her body to keep her from losing them. She's like the most absent minded professor parody you've ever seen.