*falls over laughing*

“Oh no you don’t, you are not going to sleep… here…” She said and incredibly started giving him a blowjob. ‘Whatever it takes.’

...as one does. Wow. I mean, I'm all for the "we must share body heat!" getting-them-to-sex cliche, but I really don't think you get credit for it unless the characters in question are actually, you know, hypothermic.

Okay, first, don't ask why they're in golf carts

But I wanna know!

And just how does a staff unfurl, anyways?

Exodus 4. Moses throws down his staff, and it turns into a snake. Well, I always imagined the staff like a shepherd's crook, so there you go. Unfurling!

(As always, gets distracted by online bible.) Huh. God put Moses through the Gom Jabbar?

But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son's foreskin and touched {Moses'} feet with it.

Eeew! I don't remember that! And they let kids read this?

Sorry, I'm a little off-topic, aren't I?

But I wanna know!

Okay. Remember that you asked.

There's a secret passage adjacent to the storm cellar of her farmhouse (they're in the storm cellar because they think there's been a nuclear explosion or something, but they're not letting that bring them down) and the secret passage is very long and contains all sorts of mysterious portraits of Michael's royal family to which Nikita is connected, but not in any sort of gross incest-y way, so they have to use golf carts to get around.

...I love fandom.

t blinks

Golf carts in a secret passage in a farmhouse cellar. Check.

My friends have also pointed out that golf carts tend to run on electricity rather than fuel, so there shouldn't have been any combustible substance to get on Michael's clothing.

And like, where's the writhing? And not in ecstasy...It'd be damn painful to have your clothes catch fire.

Dana, do you read Mountie Slayer?

No. It actually doesn't ring a bell, although I'm torn between horrified and intrigued at the name.