This is not in any way good fan fiction, but it's so bizarre I had to share it. And yes, all of this guy's stories involve wrapping Roy Orbison in saran wrap.

Roy Orbison walks inside my house and sits down on my couch. We talk urbanely of various issues of the day. Presently I say, 'Perhaps you would like to see my cling-film?'

t speechless

....

....

t still speechless

I'm not even clicking on it. I'm just going to continue my research into Spike's car. Yay, the Internet.

You have to admit, the stories have a certain charm.

Man, that writer makes *me* feel normal. And that ain't easy to do.

I am sooooooo not going there.

Nuh-uh.

Bloody hell, no.

You know, these are not bad. They are off-kilter in an aggressively surreal way but also rather endearingly matter-of-fact about the whole absurdity. There's a dollop of pathos in there, even.

Um.

I really like them. Not in a sexy way, but in a this is completely and totally off the wall way - and weirdly charming. With Jetta the tortoise. It's like - has anyone seen the Czech film Conspirators of Pleasure by Jan Svankmajer? It's bemusing, and I don't find the the people's obsessions sexy myself, but it's weirdly disarming and almost sweet, in a way. Just so odd, and vulnerable, and off the wall.

eta

(and they aren't porn - don't fear clicking. They're just very odd.)

I don't think they're especially bad -- they're just so weird. Roy Orbison! Cling-film! Turtles! And the writer asks for links to other stories about wrapping pop stars in cling-film! It's like RPF from a planet where Saran Wrap has replaced sex.

See, that's what I said! Charming.