Gud, I agree that it's probably premature to hash out the details here (although we're here when you're ready.) However, it is VITAL that you not let your guilt guide you in the early stages of the divorce. You can easily be guilt-tripped into giving up things that you and the kids need for mental health. For instance, this is not the moment to decide who's the better parent and therefore who gets temporary custody. This is not the moment to tell her that it's all your fault, because that *will* be used against you.
Gud, this is really important to remember. I spent several years on the TT divorce boards and heard every possible disastrous custudy fight you can imagine. Almost all of the too-late-to-change-it life-changing mistakes happened in the zone where you are now. Where good, conscientious people felt guilty about their responsibility for a failed marriage, and the other party exploited it.
I know you can't even imagine that happening now, and it probably won't come to that. But you do have to be careful.
You don't want to be in the situation (which I saw many times) where three years from now, she's remarrying and moving to Texas and taking the kids with her.
Things can change very rapidly between two people during a separation and a divorce. Things you can't imagine them doing - they'll do.
For the sake of your children, please get some legal counsel and find out what the laws are in your state.
Nothing~but~an~annoying~bug~ma to Teppy's dad.
Whatever happens, I hope it resolves itself into something easier and less painful for you both, and for your wonderful kids.
This. I'm so sorry Gud. Please don't lay all the blame on yourself. There may be rare exceptions but in my experience it takes 2 to make a relationship work, and it takes 2 to destroy it. From my limited knowledge of your situation it does seem like it won't be doing anyone any good to continue the way you have been.
Gudanov, I'm so sorry. I'm hoping for the best for you -- whatever that turns out to be.
Tep, I hope everything's all right with your father.
Oh, Gud. I'm so sorry.
Health~ma to Teppy's dad and sanity~ma to Teppy.
Health~ma to sj as well.
In mememe news, I just got home from the hospital. I think I had one of the most unprofessional doctors I've ever seen. She went on and on about how often I see the "shrink" then told me that my cough was all in my head. Apparently, I can psychologically decide to turn it off. Boy, I wish that was true.
So, that was a total waste of my time, and I missed school for it. The good news is I am feeling a little better, and I talked to my PCP again, and we've made a plan. Not a good morning, though.
She went on and on about how often I see the "shrink" then told me that my cough was all in my head. Apparently, I can psychologically decide to turn it off.
Oh my sweet jesus lord. URGE TO KILL RISING...RISING...
Apparently, I can psychologically decide to turn it off.
Unreal. I walked out and quit my first real job when the boss told me that my allergy to the company accountant's extreme perfume was all in my head.
{{{Gud}}} Tons of ~ma to you. I am so sorry that you are going through this.
{{{Teppy}}} Much ~ma to your dad and to you.
I am back from the doctor's office with two new drugs. Both of which have drowsiness labels on them. I am not hopeful that either of them are going to help with the pain while still allowing me to function.
Since I don't say it enough, I should mention that I have the best support system ever. Between everyone here, Dave (who rubbed my feet and made me tea while I cried for 2 hours this morning), and my mother who drove me to the doctor's office and got the perscriptions for me, I am a very lucky girl.
