I am really only worried about getting a bad reference from this place if I apply for another job.

I wouldn't. Almost nobody gives bad ones anymore because of liability risks. THey pretty confirm dates.

Almost nobody gives bad ones anymore because of liability risks. THey pretty confirm dates.

Yup. Confirm employment and when they worked, and that is it. Anything else is too much of a liability, especially for a megacorp like VS.

Thanks, Gud. How are you today?

Thanks, Gud. How are you today?

Not very good. Marriage looks to be pretty much over, but I'm not sure what to do next due to the many complications. So I'm feeling pretty down.

Pretty MUCH that is.

I'm insane. Back into the fire today. Oy.

Much -ma to you, Gud.

We've got a guest lecturer who is pissing me off.

Gud, I'm sorry. Is there anything we can do?

Happy Birthday (belated), Kristin! Happy Birthday, Maria!

Gud, I'm so sorry.

juliana, glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.

This is a complete outsider's perspective, Gud, but it's sounding like forgetting the chocolate was the straw that broke the camel's back, and from where I'm standing, that's too petty for words.

I realize I'm projecting here, a loved one's scenario onto yours, but it sounds like you're the one who's been working hard at a job that can be demanding, both in time and energy. And then you come home and do housework, laundry, child care, and in addition, take the kids out somewhere, or keep them with you on weekends while you three do something together.

Whatever your spouse's mental and emotional issues, she's clearly not present for you, or for the children in this marriage. And for that reason, if anybody is going to leave, I think it should be her. You've done more to keep the house and the household together, and provided more of an emotional grounding for the kids. The three of you are a unit, and the house is your base. It sounds like your wife needs to go somewhere else, somewhere private and work on her own issues.

I know this sounds harsh, and I'm sorry that it does. I wish I had JZ's or Laura's gift of saying the hard things gently, but I don't. All I can do is tell you what I feel following on from what you've posted here. I wish you all the best outcome in the world, and I apologize if I've overstepped the polite bounds of internet friendship.

Not very good. Marriage looks to be pretty much over, but I'm not sure what to do next due to the many complications. So I'm feeling pretty down.

Shit, Gud. I'm so sorry. This is not good.

If you need to talk about any of the lawyerly stuff via email, I'm available. At the very least I can alert you to some of the mistakes you should avoid. As horrible as things look right now, this is actually a period where you need to be legally vigilant so you don't get screwed on custody.

Many sympathies, Gud and family.

No practical advice except to be sure to take care of yourself.