aaaaaaaaaaaaaand its disadvantages

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand its disadvantages

OPB! (Other People's Bedpans.)

Highlights of my week:

1. Travelled to Sydney on Tuesday for an all-day work gathering. Gave 1.5 presentations of my own, and rocked the house. Explained, in an aside, about the existence of a business in Australia called "Total Tools". My manager has been telling me I need to introduce myself to the people in the Sydney office. I think I've now accomplished that. I'm hoping for "talented freak". It'd be nice to have talented in there for a change.

2. Worked on a spreadsheet created by my supervisor. Decided to save my own copy, called it "No beer and no TV makes William go something something.xls". This has not been noticed yet.

3. Went out last night with a lovely woman, had a great conversation. Very similar tastes in reading, movies etc. Got a bit of an "I like you, but..." vibe from her, but we'll see the next time I get in touch and suggest a date. She told me about another guy who'd got in touch with her, his profile was pretty much blank save for a photo of him in a jacuzzi with a can of VB, and he told her his interests included "motorbikes, football, and sometimes when I get really drunk I like to arm-wrestle with my mates." (I assume that's him showing his sensitive side.)

4. Was supposed to be going out with Chinese Christian woman tonight, but she had to cancel due to ill health. She's good for my ego, but I'm just not sure if it'll work.

5. Got an admission from internet first-timer that she'd love to meet me in person, so that's nice. Not sure when it'll happen, though.

6. D is not exactly in town, but is in Geelong, which is at least within driving distance. So the Higgins boys will be catching up with him tomorrow for dinner.

7. Got an invitation to my sister's wedding, which is nice. (Not unexpected, you understand.)

Yup. There's some good highlights.

A little late in the day, but still sincerely wished--Happy Birthday, Suzi! Go you on the downloading. Also, glad to hear the lunch was splendiferous and the iron treatment tolerable.

I can relate to the self-hate quite well. Especially when I start putting on weight; it's so easy to point at myself in the mirror and closing my eyes doesn't help because once seen, it's embedded in the brain. Ugh.

And therapy is kind of like an intervention, it won't help unless you're ready for it to help. I had my daughter and me in therapy when she was around 12 and it actually made it worse before it made it better. But when we look back at it now, it feels very much where we were actually able to start building the relationship we have now. Was it easy? Fuck, no. Was it worth it. Hell, yeah.

With these treatments, I have had to do a weekly weigh in. It has not been pretty. My home scale and I have an agreement. This strange scale does not conform to this agreement. I am living in denial and the thought that my boots weight 20 lbs.

Oh, I know that feeling. I weigh myself totally nekkid at home, but at the doctor's office? They have to drag me kicking and screaming to it because I know that the clothes I'm wearing can't actually add that much weight, but they always do. It's very discouraging.

See, I think that's the wrong question

Obviously "how crazy do you have to be" is rather flippant, but...what do you think the *right* question is, I'm curious?

My mom spent a great deal of effort trying to get me into therapy.

Heh. My family went to therapy for a little while. Or rather, the REST of my family went--the therapist decided he needed to focus on my parents' relationship with my brother, and a little bit on their relationship with my sister. I was like, a junior? in high school. And apparently, my "I'm getting the fuck outta here" attitude was already evident, and judged less of a problem. :)

Maybe self-hate is the wrong term for me. I'm just mad at myself for messing up a lot of things, I don't really think that I'm a terrible person. The overweight is fixable, I've fixed that problem before. The financial is getter better and I'm in control of that now. The marriage situation... urm... no real light at the end of the tunnel there I'm not sure how I'll be able to deal with that.

Dear lord. I can't believe I haven't said this yet. I blame excessive Blackberry use.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MG!

what do you think the *right* question is, I'm curious?

Well, I think it would be something like, "what are the benefits of therapy and what are the downsides?" Not involving a person's relative craziness---more determining its relative value for an individual.

Bah! It is very late (for me) and I need to go to bed. But I wanna eat something. Which is unlikely, as I have nothing...

Obviously "how crazy do you have to be" is rather flippant, but...what do you think the *right* question is, I'm curious?

"Tell me about your childhood."

Heh. My family went to therapy for a little while. Or rather, the REST of my family went--the therapist decided he needed to focus on my parents' relationship with my brother, and a little bit on their relationship with my sister. I was like, a junior? in high school. And apparently, my "I'm getting the fuck outta here" attitude was already evident, and judged less of a problem. :)

We once had a family therapy session in regards to my older brother, when he was about 17 (I think). Oh, and there was the time they were trying to figure out why my younger brother wasn't speaking at the age of 3, and got all of us in to analyse the family dynamics. Wild times.