Thank you, everyone. It's not that the marriage hasn't been over for a long time, but the paperwork is so soul-draining.
The King of Cups expects a picnic. But this is not his birthday!
Drusilla ,'Conversations with Dead People'
Spike's Bitches 28: For the Safety of Puppies...and Christmas!
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Pix - Jan 08, 2006 9:06:03 pm PST #3699 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
DavidS - Jan 08, 2006 9:07:30 pm PST #3700 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
but the paperwork is so soul-draining.
Paperwork sucks.
Divorce sucks.
Divorce plus paperwork = soulcrushing. It's like homework and trauma all tied up into one neat little package.
Pix - Jan 08, 2006 9:09:06 pm PST #3701 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
Divorce plus paperwork = soulcrushing. It's like homework and trauma all tied up into one neat little package.
This this this! I have never heard it said better. This completely captures how I'm feeling.
Cass - Jan 08, 2006 9:12:27 pm PST #3702 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
It's not that the marriage hasn't been over for a long time, but the paperwork is so soul-draining.And it really is.
I cried for what seemed like forever the day we signed our papers. And, as Hec mentioned, it would be six months before it was even really final.
For all of the hope and promise that comes from signing the marriage certificate, signing the divorce papers just bitchslaps you with reality.
Oh, darling one. It's just hard. It's right, it's needed, it's where you ought to be but it is just so damn hard at the same time.
Pix - Jan 08, 2006 9:18:15 pm PST #3703 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
We agreed to the divorce months ago, but we haven't done anything legally yet. Living 3000 miles away from each other and his insane travel schedule has made it really difficult to work out the specific details, and since we aren't using lawyers in an attempt to save money, the details are overwhelming. We're filing in CT, which has a 3-month waiting period until it's final once we've filed, but we're not even close to getting all the loans/assets etc. worked out yet TO file. I just want it over.
Cass - Jan 08, 2006 9:22:05 pm PST #3704 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
I would gently rec finding a mediator. Not that there are conflicts so much as it is their job to work out MSAs (Marital Settlement Agreements) and whatever the CT equivilant is. This is just really hard to try to navigate on your own. The complexities are made so much worse by the emotions...
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all over for you. I really do.
Pix - Jan 08, 2006 9:24:23 pm PST #3705 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
Yeah, but I just paid $200 for access to all the do-it-yourself paperwork...I disn't have that money in the first place.
Sigh, yeah. I should probably try to find a CT mediator. Again, the whole 3000 mile away and lack of money thing. Feh.
ETA: Anyway, thank you all for keeping me company for a bit. I think I'm going to sign off and try to get some sleep now.
Cass - Jan 08, 2006 9:34:08 pm PST #3706 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
Always around to keep you company when you need. Get some rest.
I was only suggesting a mediator for at least the paperwork because, even if you agree on absolutely everything, it is very complicated and very emotionally charged. It's just a layer to protect yourself from a lot of stress and pain.
juliana - Jan 08, 2006 9:37:14 pm PST #3707 of 10001
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight…
Divorce plus paperwork = soulcrushing. It's like homework and trauma all tied up into one neat little package.
Wordy McWord, and I had the quickest, most assetless divorce that side of Reno. It was still awful.
P.M. Marc - Jan 08, 2006 10:14:18 pm PST #3708 of 10001
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear
We'd love to move back, but I think Pacific Northwest is more likely...
Then it's looking like we might "retire" to Seattle.
::rubs hands::
Cass, I'm glad you were there making things peaceful for your grandmother. Everyone deserves that, I think, but so few people get that sort of ending. Punctuation and peace to you, now.
Oh, Kristin. Bleh. Punctuation and peace for you, too. With a side for Juliana. Because. And for Hec. And for anyone who has had to deal with that particular moment of hell.