I just threadsucked and skipped (for the moment) 250 messages. I will go back to read them either after I post, or after I post and then nap.

My grandma passed away this morning just before 5:30. She was surrounded by family and it was, to me, a relief in the end when she finally was able to let go.

She has been asleep for the past several days and had been in pain, even with all of the medications we could give her, and delusional prior to that from the pain, the meds and the dehydration.

I filled her room with pictures of her whole family, candles, fresh flowers and her favorite music. We all sat with her and talked to her, telling her that we loved her and that she could go now.

There were weird family dynamics going on and some big ugly inappropriate things said and done. Pretty much what I suspect goes on in various degrees with every family anywhere. But we all emerged mostly unscathed, especially those of us who actually stay in touch with one another.

The Hospice people, bless their souls, were wonderful to her and us in the last ten days. Someone came this morning after we called to clean up, wash grandma, dress her in a new nightie and clear out all of the equipment and meds.

Much pharmacopia was flushed. Somewhere downstream, some fishies are getting totally loaded. Though they won't have to worry about their cholesterol.

The hardest part was when the people, who were really polite and respectful, from the cremation service came to pick her up.

I have spent the better part of the last ten days at my parent's house, most of it in grandma's room (with a couple of hours at a time back at my house to feed my cats and beg them to not forget me) and am in sleep dep delerium.

I have a couple more calls to make and then a nap if I can sleep. I'm not even crying right now but I think that it's just a temporary pause. I'm hoping that this post makes even a little bit of sense once I have a few brain cells back around to reread it.

Thank you all for your support over the last three weeks. It's made such a difference.

I would taunt Almare more about SciFi Friday, but I have to do some work stuff.

White-fonting taunter.

{{Cass and family}} I'm glad you were able to be with her at the end. It sounds like you made her passing as peaceful as possible.

Oh, Cass. Keep your chin up and everything will turn out for the best.

{{Cass}} I'm sorry you've lost a beloved member of your family, but glad she was finally able to let go and leave the pain behind. Time to take care of you, now. Sleep well.

{{{Cass}}}

{{{{{{{{Cass}}}}}}}}}

I know it was ultimately a relief, but I know also how difficult it remains. My love to you and your family. You have my cell--text or call any time, love.

{{{Cass}}} I'm glad you were there for her, and that your family has come through this.

Hospice folks rock. They get money from me every year.

{{{Cass}}}

Yes, nut I'm not sure when. Probably towards mid to end of May, depending on a few things like the house selling and some course Joe has to attend.

Damn. I think we're going to be there in the first part of May--5th through the 11th.

I'm sorry, Cass. There is never an easy death, but it sounds like your grandmother had a death that was as loving and gentle as you could make it. I hope you heal soon.