One of my happiest memories evah is being curled up with billytea and kristin and cass watching a race.

Teppy, without knowing how the doctor put everything to her, and without knowing the realities of your grandfather's cancer, it sounds like the doctor gave your aunt information but not guidance, and she chose what I would think of as badly, given your grandfather's age and senility. I wouldn't want to make that choice. I think you're doing the right thing going down to have dinner with your aunt. I also think you need to take care of you, and since you didn't feel the desire to take on the responsibility of staying the night with your grandfather, I am so proud of you that you didn't let guilt rule over your common sense, and martyr yourself.

It seems to me cancer treatment choices aren't always that linear, either. Years ago, my uncle was dying of cancer--metastasized lung cancer that had spread to his liver before it was found. He fought it for a while, but when it became clear the chemo wasn't working, he came to terms with it, and abandoned treatment.

He ended up in the hospital at one point, after he had decided for himself that he didn't want anything but pallative care. They found the cancer was spreading to his brain. He ended up having radiation, even though he didn't want to prolong his life, and only wanted pallative care, because if he didn't, he would have had all sorts of horrible things (seizures, etc.) from the cancer that had spread to his brain.

It might be all your aunt was presented with was shitty choices.

One of my happiest memories evah is being curled up with billytea and kristin and cass watching a race.

See, and one of my happiest memories is watching Singing in the Rain at Kristin's when we heard the call of the wild, and the call was "AAAAGH!! POSSUM!!!"

Skin cancer sites are not helping. they won't give me any idea of spread time, pain levels , etc. I am going to have to make a list of question to start asking the docotrs when I hit my mid 80's. As long as there is little pain and no disfigurement ( everyone deserves a nose) , there are lots of questions that need to be asked. sending healing ma ~~~ and calm ma~~ to granfather

I. THOUGHT. IT. WAS. IN. THE. HOUSE.

You get rabies shots, man, and not be a little shell-shocked.

See, and one of my happiest memories is watching Singing in the Rain at Kristin's when we heard the call of the wild, and the call was "AAAAGH!! POSSUM!!!"

OMG, funny. I'd forgotten about you getting up close and personal with the bat, trudes.

Last night, a friend who called after I was home from the hospital and got to hear the whole saga suggested that Grandpa might be more settled if he had something familiar from home, since his dementia is so advanced that he has no idea where he is. I was thinking maybe a blanket or something.

So I told mom, who passed the idea along to caretaker!aunt, who thinks it's a good idea and is taking a photo that Grandpa really likes of he and Grandma. I hope it helps, even a little.

Mom also told me that if it were her in the hospital, she would have asked for a yard gnome.

Brenda, the thing was HUGE. It was MechaPossum huge.

Well, Tep, if your Mom is ever in the hospital post nose-reconstruction you now know what to do. How many people can say that?

Well, Tep, if your Mom is ever in the hospital post nose-reconstruction you now know what to do. How many people can say that?

I e-mailed her back immediately and said almost exactly that -- "When you're in the hospital for your new nose, I'll bring you a yard gnome and a picture of your favorite child (that would be the dog)."

She e-mailed back and said "Just bring the dog."