Emily, you sound an awful lot like me at various evenings.

Does Bastet bring her toys to your bed? I hope not.

Devi does.

Yes, I've woken up with dead mice.

Think of it as Darwin at work.

And if by some strange circumstance, the mouse survives, it will go back to its nest and tell the horror of your home.

Also? We really need to not name cats after dieties. It just doesn't end well for us.

It's under the entertainment center. The cat is keeping close watch over it.

Aha! You must destroy your entertainment center, instantly.

You may explain this to any concerned parties as a command from your invisible Internet friends that had to be obeyed.

Is the mouse, um, visibly mamed? Because sometimes they bounce back from the 'disturbingly still' condition.

Basically, what we are saying is if she doesn't bring toys to your bed, go to bed.

Otherwise...go to bed. And steel yourself.

Is the mouse, um, visibly mamed?

This entire conversation has been easier to parse than any given minute of dealing with a graphic artist.

Is the invisible mouse visibly maimed?

This question will be on the next SAT.

If the mouse is terminally wounded but not dead, well a friend of mine killed a mouse like this - he took a cheap Bic-type pen, removed the middle pen part, took a strong string and ran a loop of the string through the empty pen, so one end of the pen had a loop of string sticking out and the other end had the ends of the string sticking out. Then he put the mouse's head through the loop and pulled hard, breaking the neck.

Or, you could put mouse in a large container, along with a small bowl of vinigar on a plate. Then add baking soda to the bowl of vinigar, thus producing carbon dioxide, which will (hopefully) displace all the air in the large container.

Do folks think this last one would work?

Oh, freezing is supposed to be pretty painless, right?

Does Bastet bring her toys to your bed? I hope not.

The subject has never come up before. Fortunately, the roommate grew up with barn cats and is fairly blase about the whole thing, so if the mouse shows up while he's still home, I'm letting him deal with it. Of course, now Bastet seems to be investigating under the couch. Not sure what that signifies.

Also, we spotted the mouse behind the entertainment center. It was still alive, though NotEmily thought it might die of shock.

We once had a wounded mouse in our apartment. Joe tried to kill it but it took him a long time. It was horrible.

OK. We are getting into freaky mouse-snuffing-films.

And you wondered why people came 'round Buffistas.

My mother would grab the wee rodent by the tail, swing it round her head until it was dizzy, break its neck and then slit from throat to anus.

But you already knew that.