From The Onion

WASHINGTON, DC—The recent leak revealing Santa Claus to be "your mommy and daddy" has been linked to President Bush's senior political adviser and deputy chief of staff Karl Rove.

[link]

Gud just made my head hurt.

In boss gift-giving, I made a scarf for my assistant and also have some chocolate for her. Is that okay? Or would you be offended because it seems cheap?

Really? Not going for HSQ in your paper.

I know, I'm crazy.

The conclusion here is essentially a paradigmatic prospective assemblage intended to render a dynamic orchestration of employee energistics across multiple vertices. Through a system of non-apparent motive vehicles, we will seek to initiate from within the disintegrated participatory constituents an innovated focus-drive generating a core-gravity that will channel exertory critical impulses along complementary and bi-reflexive vortals.

But I think this could actually work!

If I can make a suggestion - I think this is better:

The conclusion here is essentially a paradigmatic prospective assemblage intended to render a dynamic orchestration of employee energistics across multiple vertices. Through a system of non-apparent motive llama llama llama vehicles, we will seek to initiate from within the disintegrated participatory constituents an innovated focus-drive generating a core-gravity that will channel llama llama exertory critical impulses along complementary and bi-reflexive vortals. Llama.

edit for dumb spelling mistake.

You know what's also unpossible? I'll be 27 in less than two weeks.

I'll be 31 a week from today. That's so far from possible it's imimaginable.

I've got a fair amount of Ute including Punishing Kiss, Emily. If you can wait until this evening I could help you out.

Woot! Can totally wait. Actually, I'll be finishing something up tonight, so I won't even really get around to making the CDs until tomorrow night.

So I watch as other departments get taken out to lunch by their managers or their vendors/clients. I deliver the gifts, cards and swag they get sent.

We're getting a "holiday party with refreshments." We were told to reserve space on our calendars for "an office holiday party with [boss]." I don't know about you, but that last bit doesn't exactly add to the anticipation for me. Ooh, the boss is taking time out of her important schedule to meet with us? Yaaay! Have to remind myself it's not actually her fault -- her assistant, who types these sorts of emails, is an officious nitwit. Still. Ooh, a party with the boss!

Llama.

This reminds me -- my school has finally not only officially adopted a mascot, but actually gotten a mascot outfit. It's scary looking.

In boss gift-giving, I made a scarf for my assistant and also have some chocolate for her. Is that okay? Or would you be offended because it seems cheap?

Not cheap at all!

That reminds me that I have to add my boss's gift to my list of things to get tonight. My mom sent me a check as part of my Xmas gift, and she told me to put it towards getting a new coat. Considering my bank account currently has less than $3 in it if not for that check, though, I'm using it for the last of my gift shopping tonight. I'll get the new coat after payday on Friday.

Your school's mascot is a Llama?

My boss and my assistant and I had a confab and decided we're buying each other drinks for xmas. Works for me.

"an office holiday party with [boss]."

It's like a network teaser. "Stayed tuned for the NBC Holiday Countdown with your host Ed McMahon!"

I'm also in the "not cheap" camp. Making things for people shows a lot of care.

I got my boss a package of sugar-free chocolate almonds. She's on a diet, sugar-free chocolate is expensive and she gets desperate when her chocolate stream gets too high in blood and too low in chocolate.