The pain is getting to my...well, head's not the right word but maybe it makes sense way too much today. I'm overly fragile. And it shows, I think. People are acting weird around me.
ita, I remember being in constant searing pain when my back was injured, and how it *does* get to your head. Or your....something. It changed my entire personality, because all my energy went toward tolerating the pain and not collapsing in a heap and howling -- I had no energy left to deal with people, and I know I got snappish and cranky and mean as a result.
That constant pain reduces your focus to a tiny pinpoint -- dealing with the pain and not collapsing -- and that focus has you trapped and takes up all your energy.
I remember all too well what that was like, and I am SO sorry you're in the same situation right now.
Bigtime healing vibes to tommy and ita.
I was just listening to a morning show on the radio, and they had the resident movie critic on. His best line was about The Family Stone, "You've seen this plot a million times before, usually on 30-minute shows on the WB." Ouch!
We ate granola and yogurt back when people still looked at you funny.
All you give me is the seaweed
And the alfalfa sprouts
Sunflower seeds
And I got my doubts
Then you left me here
With these Chicken Cordon Blues
Oh, augh, gnyargh, ita. It's so utterly wrong that you have to go through this, be eaten up by it.
The tiny, tiny handful of times I've been in anything like chronic pain -- really, more like semi-chronic discomfort -- it's boggled me how emotionally sapping it is, how it colors everything you do and becomes the central event and everything else happens around it, or through it, or despite it. And I know that I only had it for hours, maybe a day or so, every now and then, and that it was comparatively
nothing.
And then I think of the Buffistas who are battling through serious chronic pain (body pain, back pain, frequent migraines - shit!) week after week, month after month, and still functioning: jobs, job crises, taking classes, teaching classes, parenting; and I'm just boggled anew that you manage to do any of it for even one day, let alone months on end, and just utterly fucking helplessly angry that none of the people poking and prodding and scanning you are doing jack shit to give you back your brains and your bodies.
I hate that some of the most gifted and amazing and life-filled people I know are also some of the most pain-ridden and that nobody's fixing it. Hate it.
Grr... some people are so... grrr..
There's a link going around to some message board posting which
said "Right after we saw Brokeback Mountain, my husband said he
wanted a divorce, and he's moving in with his best friend. This
movie turned him gay! Bad, bad Hollywood!"
[link]
And then I think of the Buffistas who are battling through serious chronic pain (body pain, back pain, frequent migraines - shit!) week after week, month after month, and still functioning: jobs, job crises, taking classes, teaching classes, parenting; and I'm just boggled anew that you manage to do any of it for even one day, let alone months on end, and just utterly fucking helplessly angry that none of the people poking and prodding and scanning you are doing jack shit to give you back your brains and your bodies.
Yeah, right on.
"Right after we saw Brokeback Mountain, my husband said he wanted a divorce, and he's moving in with his best friend. This movie turned him gay! Bad, bad Hollywood!"
Wait, that's not a joke?
This week's This American Life is incredible, about an evangelical pastor who has decided he doesn't believe in hell, and has developed a Doctrine of Inclusion. It's amazing. FYI.
Yes it is. 'Suela, are you all seeing it today?
My head hurts. And not from too much wine. Possiby from the viewing of too many holiday lights.
We are, Kat. Right now I'm catching up on email and avoiding the piles of laundry I need to do, and the whiney dog who needs a good long walk. Soon!
What can I say to that craxy woman other than, "Ride 'em, cowboy!" Boy, if I was married to her, I'd go gay just to get away, you know? :-)
So what you are trying to say is that I should go see the movie without Brendon or risk my happy marriage?
