Bonuses are a foreign concept around here, unfortunately. The last time they handed them out was 13 years ago. Before then, every year an employee would get an extra two-week paycheck at Christmas time if they had been there under five years, two checks if over five years. I started at the end of November, so I got a pro-rated bonus of 1/12 of a check (I think it was $50 after tax). Since then, zippo.
Today's snowstorm-that-didn't provoked a fun description in the Tribune of the "dibs" system of keeping your shoveled out parking spot on the Chicago residential streets, and the consequences of ignoring said calling of "dibs":
One winter I dug our car out of its plowed-in spot. A neighbor dug out his car behind me. We pulled our cars out and marked our spaces with lawn and card table chairs. We drove off to do errands. When I returned I saw my neighbor in the middle of the street, staring. A huge Cadillac Coupe de Ville convertible with a western suburb vehicle sticker was taking up both of our spaces. The chairs had been tossed near the sidewalk. Without a word, we each got our snow shovels and completely buried the Cadillac. It was below zero out. Then my neighbor said, "Wait a minute" and returned carrying two buckets of water. We ended up using six buckets of water on the car. The Caddy remained entombed in ice for weeks. After a thaw, we never saw that car in the neighborhood again.
We used to have a real bonus scheme here. We've had several. Each of which was reworked or abandoned just before I would have received one.
It's not that I'm paranoid, but I can't help wondering if the phrase "If Tom would get a bonus, there must be something wrong with the formula." was ever uttered in a smoke-filled room...
Our bonuses are based on sales performance, so we don't get them until after the end of the financial year, which is in April. So no Christmas bonus for me!
It's not that I'm paranoid, but I can't help wondering if the phrase "If Tom would get a bonus, there must be something wrong with the formula." was ever uttered in a smoke-filled room...
That's just paranoid. There's no smoke-filled room, the whole plan is completely public and available at www.nobonusfortom.org.
the whole plan is completely public and available at www.nobonusfortom.org.
I
hate
that site.
(But I do get a bonus - one week's pay, which I've heard is pretty standard.)
Yeah, to be fair. Our bonus scheme used to be based on sales targets, which doesn't really motivate those of us in the development team.
Our development schedules aren't regular or formalized enough for a "ship it and win a prize" kind of bonus (other than a frosty beverage or two).
I can't help wondering if the phrase "If Tom would get a bonus, there must be something wrong with the formula." was ever uttered in a smoke-filled room...
Replace "Tom" and "bonus" with "Fred" and "window office," and I can relate.
Today's snowstorm-that-didn't provoked a fun description in the Tribune of the "dibs" system of keeping your shoveled out parking spot on the Chicago residential streets, and the consequences of ignoring said calling of "dibs":
Oh my god, that's
brilliant!
A lot of work, but....
Only a matter of time before Baltimorons try this, if they haven't already.
So, it's not snowing at ALL in Chicago?
Interesting.
My bonus is based on a performance plan that was set in March. Since part of it is sales, it won't be figured until mid- to late-Jan. I should get it in February.
