OH! Happy Birthday Jilli!!!

I have all the letters my boyfriend in college wrote to me. As well as all the letters I wrote to him while we were together. He gave them all back to me when we broke up. Also a letter he wrote to me a few years ago apologizing for being such a dick when we were together (not written out of the blue in a creepy way. I had sent him a card when his dad died).

I always think of love letters as "Oh my dearest, how I miss you, etc., etc., etc."

Which I have never gotten, as I don't inspire feelings of "how I miss you." It has something to do with my misanthropy, I think.

I did get a gut-punching "you're such a good friend" letter from my high school crush, though.

I got one of these from my first freshman-college-year crush. Have no clue what he's doing now.

A college roommate's brother developed a crush on me, and he was writing me initially chatty letters that escalated to the "I love you!" level, which is where I freaked out. That was strange enough for me (I'm the crusher, never the crushee), but even more weird was when I got a letter from him out of the blue five years later. (He worked for the post office, so he was able to track me down.) I never responded to that letter, either, and I never heard from him again.

I've gotten a lot of filthy e-mails and they were fun but I wouldn't call them Love Letters.

I did get a note from an ex-boyfriend once, but it was with a "christmas present." The gift was his snipped off tail (it was the eighties, we were sixteen) transformed into a tree ornament. I'm sure it seemed damn romantic to a rejected sixteen year old boy, but I was pretty much skeeved.

I should not reschedule the doctor's appointment I have tomorrow despite the fact that I know it's not going to be good news. Right? Even though I've been stressed like whoa this week because of work and nobody's called me about my brother-in-law's doctor's appointment this morning, and my grandmother's not doing so hot, and --

Wah. I want pie.

I haven't gotten a love letter, but as Hec pointed out to Jesse, I have gotten a valentine. My ex and I did used to write letters back and forth, even though we were in the same town, but I don't know that they were love letters, just letters.

I wrote a now crushingly painfully embarrassing letter to him after he broke up with me, sort of begging for him to take me back.

I have recieved a semi-anonymous porn tape left on my doorstep, which was creepy. It was a couple months after my ex moved out and I couldn't tell if it was from him or to him, as the attached card could either be read two ways. I wasn't going to watch it but a friend of mine thought I would feel bad if he made me a suicide tape or something. I was instead treated to a bad tape of bad seventies era porn.

I should not reschedule the doctor's appointment I have tomorrow despite the fact that I know it's not going to be good news. Right?

If you needed to schedule it in the first place, which you obviously did, you should not reschedule it.

You should totally have pie, though.

If you needed to schedule it in the first place, which you obviously did, you should not reschedule it.

But... it's a follow-up... and... wah.

And I'll probably have to deny myself the pie, because I need to lose weight.

I'll be good. But I really, really won't like it.

Dear Head of Engineering,

Please do not ever again schedule a 8 day test window over the Thanksgiving holiday, especially after a layoff, when you have laid off one of the key testers. Few people are up to speed and they are coming to me in a panic (because oddly, I seem to have become the institutional memory on this part) and when they find out I'm going to be gone all 8 of the 8 test days...well, I almost made someone cry, I think.

Thanks,

Me and your testers.

shrift, have pie.