You cannot successfully steal my identity if you are not a complete sucker for affectionate cats. No one would believe you and the lack of catfood purchases would raise red flags.

It would be as if I stole yours and failed to do anything martial-arts-like. The deception would collapse in on itself.

No one would believe you and the lack of catfood purchases would raise red flags.

Oh, I'd buy the catfood and the stuff. And then bury it in the park.

I'd be very tired.

ita is too busy being in love with the lady presenter to steal sara's identitiy.

And years later, some half-crazed cat lady would discover your cache and take it as proof of the existence of God and use it to feed her gaggle of feral felines.

How is it possible to answer an e-mail that consists almost entirely of questions, without actually answering any of the questions?

True. She'd also have to contend with the utter lack of cathair on every goddamn item of clothing, even the one you haven't brought inside for the first time yet. (Discovered something pulled a sweater off the hanger and nested in it this morning...)

Just use all the words in the questions in a declarative manner.

eta: Err, this won't do anything about the cathair, though.

why do you ask?

why do you ask?

Because it's a better option than flying to Chicago and bludgeoning the people I'm working with.

In this case, by the way, I am the original e-mailer, futilely seeking information. You would think, since I am producing something for them, they might be interested in answering my questions. You would be tragically wrong.

So, I've been banking on the fact that the people who RSVPed three weeks ago for this event tonight wouldn't actually come. Yeah, too bad I've heard from three of the first 5 RSVPers today. Wish me not-too-many-people. Because they all have my name now, so I'm askeered.