I was one of those children who believed that Santa made a lot of noise and used bad words. My father always waited until the last minute to put stuff together. I understand that the year I got my first bicycle, my parents had staggered off to bed only an hour or so before we got up. We were, however, strictly enjoined not to go into the living room before 7 a.m., no matter what we heard.

I don't remember ever trying to find Christmas presents. It could be I was too traumatized by the oft-told tale of my mother's brother, who was using a match for light as he went looking for Christmas parents and burned up the contents of a closet.

I tried and did find my gifts one year. My mother was so angry, she gave them all to me that day and on Christmas morning, I got nothing.

I was the kid that peeked at everything under the tree with my name on it. Mad un-taping and re-taping skillz, let me tell ya. One year I was almost forced to peek at all the gifts because there weren't any with my name on the tag. Fortunately I figured out mom's Top Secret Code of writing a tiny N on the corner of the tag.

Oh, MG, just in case K-Bug calls you... feel free to tell her that you only confided in me about the Rizzo story. I didn't mention to her how I knew about it but I also couldn't resist text msging her with HEY RIZZO! sorry!

RC's torch song in the bar is one of my favorites.

sighhhhh

So sad she won't be singing at the wedding when I marry George.

My mother was so angry, she gave them all to me that day and on Christmas morning, I got nothing.

Man, you need to keep a list of these things to read aloud should you ever need to stick her in a home.

We lived in tiny apartments and knew exactly where the presents were (under a blanket in the coat closet), but none of us looke because we didn't want to ruin the surprise.

Keep all your kid's presents locked in the car trunk.

My parents used to do this! Well, that was one of their hiding spots. Since there are 5 kids in my family, all our presents wouldn't fit in the trunk. I suspect my dad kept the big things at his office.

We actually looked once. Never did it again - because the surpise was so much of the fun. Which is what makes it easy to keep a secret now...

none of us looke because we didn't want to ruin the surprise

When we found hiding places, my mom always said, "If you look, you'll spoil no one's Christmas but your own." That seemed to do the trick.

Of course, when we got older, my parents shared a story from their first Christmas after they married. They were at my dad's parents' house and the whole family went to Christmas Eve services at church. My mom and dad feigned tiredness after travelling and stayed home. They, then, unwrapped all their presents together and carefully re-wrapped them before my grandparents came home.

Not only did they peak, they lied to skip church in order to peak. My siblings and I have given them unending shit over that.

MG, I can never figure out how parents keep Christmas presents a secret.

Keep all your kid's presents locked in the car trunk.

Or keep all your kids locked in the car trunk.

I love being surprised now and make no attempt to know stuff in advance. When we were kids my mother kept everything behind her bed. She never thought we would look. Yes, she was really that naive. Needless to say, we looked at everything.

The one thing they did that was neat was they put up the tree and decorated after we went to church Christmas Eve when we were very young. It was quite magical in the morning. I don't remember when they stopped doing that.

My parents kept the presents in the attic and I remember being tempted to look, but don't remember ever doing so. There is a story about the year that my oldest sister went downstairs and opened all the presents before anyone got up. It competes with the story about how my middle sister hunted all the Easter eggs one year before anyone woke up.

I, apparently, was a perfect child and never tried to cheat my sisters out of the presents/candy associated with any particular holiday like they did to me. ::uncrosses fingers, now that I'm done telling lies::