Much ma to him, beth!
I got an email from an aunt about retailers trying to get rid of Christmas. Strange that she would send it to me and my cousin, since we're unlikely to be sympathetic. I think there was a good bit of sarcastic emailing between me and Kara ending with "SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JESUS MOTHERFUCKER!" being suggested as the best way to show our holiday Christmas spirit at the family gathering. Kara was also concerned that the email was sent to my aunt from another cousin's wife, then we remembered that they both have the permed soccer mom helmet hair, and decided that the aqua net (more likely Revlon or somesuch) keeps the sanity out and the crazy in.
Is there something in the water? I just got the "they're conspiring against Christmas rant" from my mother, who neither listens to talk radio nor goes on the internet.
I was on the phone with her for about an hour and a half, at least a third of which I spent saying, "Well, we both need to be getting to bed" and "I'll talk with you later." First, I had to talk her through the Medicare ratings on the nursing homes they're looking at for my aunt. (She had a stroke on Friday.) That was depressing enough, because I ended up saying things like, "Try not to put her in the one that has three times the national average of patients with bedsores." That was okay, since research is pretty much my job, although she has a long history of calling me for advice and then doing the exact opposite. Then she started an a long rant about the whole holiday/Christmas thing, beginning by saying, "I got Christmas cards that say Christmas, not 'Happy Holidays.'" There's no national attack on Christmas, Mother! Where the hell is this coming from?
The anti-anti-christmas people still use snail mail junk mail.
Heh. The Daily Show was on topic tonight. I do so love it when Jon finds a jackhole to torment.
Colbert just identified the source of the war on christmas as
the Coca Cola polar bears, having replaced Santa on the coke cans as part of a neferious plot to next take over for the mall Santas, with the result that we'll just hand over small children for the eating.
Sounds about as reasonable as anything.
Well, I suppose, if you don't take into account
the bear-penguin alliance demonstrated in those ads.
Oh, those
penguins
are not long for this world, you wait.
They are just
snackalicious
.
