That seems alarmist to me, but then again I'm not part of the world the article describes. Are things really that bad?

It seemed both alarmist and poorly researched, vague about when exactly this shift took place, and failing for some things (later marriage and moving from home) to look at factors other than parental smothering. As one who moved late from home, as did my spouse, I can attest that in our case and the case of most of my friends, it really was the economy, stupid.

There were good points in there, but they were smothered by sensationalism.

As for cutting, the new epidemic, well... err, I'm 31. Most of my friends in real life are my age or slightly older. We came of age/went to high school in the late 80s/early 90s. Cutting wasn't talked about/discovered/to be watched for yet, but large numbers of us cut. We just got away with it with no one the wiser.

I'm 31. Most of my friends in real life are my age or slightly older. We came of age/went to high school in the late 80s/early 90s. Cutting wasn't talked about/discovered/to be watched for yet, but large numbers of us cut. We just got away with it with no one the wiser.

I'm a bit older than you, and it wasn't any big secret among my peers. I remember my mom being fairly shocked the first time it came up though, and the media hadn't glommed on yet. But it for sure isn't a recent development.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the Annabel pictures are just adorable. She really is just getting so big!

factors other than parental smothering

Those were the ones that resonated for me, though. With the boys in school (Jake for nine years now), I've seen so many cases of parents asking for exceptions for their kids when they weren't needed.

One woman I knew through playgroup was a SAHM, but she took it to an extreme (again, IMO). Their dining room had been made into a playroom, there were no limits for the kids at home regarding bedtime or what was appropriate behavior, and she would never go out in the evening because "it wasn't right". She believed that since she was a SAHM -- or simply a mom at all, I guess -- that one hundred percent of her time needed to be given to her kids. That's the kind of thing that sets up false expectations, in my mind. One day, Mommy isn't going to be around to wipe your nose, or tie your shoe, or get your juice, much less referee toy disputes. And the weirdest thing was, her kids were some of the most miserable, ill-behaved kids I'd ever encountered.

Ugh. I'm looking at the information sheet for our next biology exam (which is on Monday). I don't know how to do most of this stuff. I sure hope I can cram at least some of it into my brain by Monday!

It seemed both alarmist and poorly researched, vague about when exactly this shift took place, and failing for some things (later marriage and moving from home) to look at factors other than parental smothering.

I found that bothersome, too. I also don't recall any mention of smaller families playing into this, both from the gene pool preservation standpoint (i.e. parents want to keep their 1-2 kids alive and aren't losing kids to infant mortality) and the sibling competition standpoint (which both Susan and I benefited from).

As one who moved late from home, as did my spouse, I can attest that in our case and the case of most of my friends, it really was the economy, stupid.

That was one problem for me. The other was that I was taught all my childhood to go to college and get a degree, but once I did I had no idea what to do with it.

If there's one thing I wish I had gotten from school, it was competition. I am OK with Annabel going to public school, but I'm afraid she'll never get pushed and prodded by her teachers and peers to be the intellectual superstar we all know she's going to be. It is very easy to just put on the cruise control and float through primary/secondary school without reading a book or studying, esp. if the school's purpose is less about educating and more about self-preservation and order-keeping. Then you hit college and have no study habits... and you end up being me.

My family calls Tulsa Public Schools "the TP Schools." Gawd, they were awful.

With the boys in school (Jake for nine years now), I've seen so many cases of parents asking for exceptions for their kids when they weren't needed.

Their case would have been stronger if they'd stuck to specifics like that. As it was, however, they seemed to blame everything that's gone wrong with people in the last twenty years to modern parenting trends.

I remember being surprised to read about Mary Karr having a friend who cut in the late '60s(in the second memoir "Cherry") because I had thought it was somehow new.

miserable, ill-behaved kids I'd ever encountered

Probably because of the "no limits". I know that with both my kids, they may not like the limits but they know them and they are enforced.

I'm 48 and cutting wasn't that common, or if it was we didn't talk about it in the bathroom. Of course, this was during the early to mid-70's so not being a virgin was BIG NEWS.

As far as parental smothering, I'm seeing more of it now. One parent in my youngest's class asked for their child to re-tested for GATE because they didn't feel that the child was at their best that day. This parent was frantic because their child didn't qualify for GATE - I can't imagine being that kid.... what pressure.

Gifted, right? I was Gifted and Special...shifting expectations, much?