Oh juliana, what everyone else has said better than I ever could. {{{}}}

I'm standing back and letting everyone who's been through that grief and come out the other side say the big important stuff, but I'm still vibing love and support at you. {{{{{juliana}}}}}

Also, what beth said last night, which is also something Hec has said before -- ten minutes at a time. If you can't make it through the day, break it down into bits small enough that you can cope. If it's just ten minutes, that's fine. Get through this ten minutes, and then another ten, and another. You're strong enough for that. And everyone is here, thinking of you, every second.

It will be ok, Juliana. and actually, it will be better than ok.

JZ is not clear on the concept - but on the other hand , getting things done on your day off that have been bugging you - priceless.

juliana, it won't be the same, but it will be okay. And it will, eventually, be better than okay, and even better than it has been. We're here. Breathe. Take the next step, and the one after that. It's going to be okay.

It'll be better than okay, J. It's going to be a long and painful path at times, but I have complete faith that you're going to come out of this with a better and brighter world than you had before.

What Amych Said.

It'll take time, but it *will* get better. And for now, just breathe, and lean on us.

I just wish I didn't have to move and move RIGHT NOW, but I do, in order to save my sanity. I'm just totally overwhelmed and broke in all senses of the word and under all of that is the terrified feeling that I'll never be as happy as I was with him and I need to getOUT to get whole, but I need a job to stay whole, and I'm thisclose to just fucking losing it here in the office. But, I need to stay here because I have a huge project going out the door at 4 and all hands are needed. Everyone here's been amazingly supportive, so I don't want to make it worse for them.

under all of that is the terrified feeling that I'll never be as happy as I was with him

You'll be happier. I know that's pretty much impossible to see right now, and that's normal. You'll be *happier.* I promise. You don't need to be able to see that right now, because I do.

and I need to getOUT to get whole, but I need a job to stay whole

You WILL get a job. You absolutely will.

This sucks, it's a shitty rotten sucking chest wound of a situation, and it's going to continue to suck for a while. But you have people who love you and are going to take care of you and make DAMN sure that you come out the other side, whole and well and happy. And you WILL.

I absolutely mean that.

It is perhaps impossible to believe that now, but if you can't trust that feeling in yourself trust it from somebody who has been through a divorce. It will be okay.

This. Thisthisthisthis, a thousand times over. It is so hard, and so painful, but you will be OK.

You'll be happier. I know that's pretty much impossible to see right now, and that's normal. You'll be *happier.* I promise. You don't need to be able to see that right now, because I do.

What Teppy said. Here's why: You will be happier with somebody who loves you as much as you love them. Who chooses you with as much commitment as you choose them.

There have undoubtedly been many wonderful parts to your relationship with Zach. But he has not matched your love nor your commitment. That is the fact of it.

Nothing to add to all the wisdom that's already been posted, but {{{juliana}}}