Maria, you look so beautiful! And I love the cake - your MiL did such a great job.

I guess I am very lucky in that I love the holidays. I may change my tune after traveling with a baby this year. Neither of our families do the big guilt thing, so that's nice. The hardest part is that I have very set-in-stone ideas of what makes it a holiday and Joe's family does differnet stuff (obviously). I'm trying to realize that Christmas is Christmas, even without my family traditions and I'm getting better at it. Hopefully, in the next few years, we will be able to start our own traditions.

You had me at "scallops wrapped in bacon". That sounds like a FEAST!!!

I'll be the first to admit I have huge family issues on the holidays but I can usually work past them long enough to enjoy the family I like and ignore the family I don't.

I actually feel like I *more* power rather than less with having a baby. A lot of our scheduling is on Owen's time and I refuse to deal with a group of people that won't make concessions for a toddler.

Maria, you look so beautiful! Now I want to see more!

My sister down in LA writes that my 13 year old nephew has a badly fractured ankle. He got this injury when the class bully picked him up and slammed him down during gym class. Earlier in the day, Kyle had asked a teacher to move a fan (the bully had placed right in front of himself and set not to move) so that it would oscilate and create a breeze for the whole class. The bully got mad and announced to the class and the teacher, "I'm going to tackle you later!" The teacher shook her head at the bully, but said nothing. A couple of class periods later, when the gym teacher was late and there was no one watching, he tossed my nephew. Apparently, it's not the first time the Bully has done this particular move to the smaller kids in the class.

I am angry enough that I would really like to go down to LA and kick the shit out of a little boy, a teacher who did nothing, and a late gym teacher. I have issues, which I'll deal with on my own. From the Bitches, I'd like some healing ~ma for Kyle, for his ankle and his psyche.

Gorgeous wedding pictures, Maria!

You ignore that there's a price to be paid. It may be that there are one or more sick relatives whom it's the Last Chance To See. There may be healthy relatives whom you can only see in one place at the holidays. You may have relatives who can successfully make your life a living hell if you "let them down". (And don't tell me "that's your choice", because it isn't. If Aunt Sarah spends the next year telling all your family what a bitch you are, that has fallout.) You may love some of the relatives enough that it's important to you to make them happy.

Yes, this. I figure the price Dylan and I pay for getting to live in Seattle is having to endure those long flights back to Birmingham and Tulsa, and doing it at Christmas. If we went any other time, particularly with my very scattered family, we wouldn't be able to see all my brothers, nieces and nephews, etc., because that's when everyone gathers. It's stressful, but it's worth it. It'd be different if my family's dynamics were toxic or something, but I figure part of being an adult is sucking it up and making an effort to be a good daughter and DIL, letting Annabel get some time with her extended family, etc.

I'm sorry about Kyle's ankle and bully problems, Sparky. Much healing~ma to him.

That sucks, Sparky.

You know, ita lives in L.A. Maybe you can work something out with her.

I'm sorry, Sparky. Bullies suck, as do schools who don't deal with them properly.

You know, ita lives in L.A. Maybe you can work something out with her.

It's so very tempting at the moment, but somewhere in the back of my brain I know that the shit kicking isn't the answer.

And, of course, my legal skills and my access to all the pretty databases are so very handy at the moment.

Bullies suck, as do schools who don't deal with them properly.

Actually, schools who don't deal with bullies properly are leaving themselves open to lawsuits. Sparky's nephew was physically injured as a result of something that should have been prevented by the school. Part of the tacit agreement when you send your child to school is that your child will be safe -- not from all possible injuries, because obviously bones get broken from sports injuries, and it's hard to be preventative about SkyLab falling -- but from injuries that can reasonably be prevented. And bullies who break other kids' bones are included in that category.

t edit I should really estimate how long it takes for someone who has actual knowledge of legal issues to come along and point out exactly where and how I'm wrong. My guess: 3-8 minutes.

Sparky, your sister should call the principal ASAP.

I know, because last week I had to call the principal about bullying. He came down like the wrath of God; some kids were suspended. He says California law does NOT allow this behavior.

Any sane principal who is confronted with a kid with a broken leg is going to be afraid enough to take action.