He looked at my retina through every instrument known to man, so I'm thinking yes.

Joining in the frelling of this day. Ew.

Also {{{Bitches}}}

Warning: internet pass-on joke ahead.

Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and compare stories on how they died:

1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible.
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched , and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.

BWAH! Here's another:

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies,  "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old  as  I am  and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything, I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask  that I  would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, lets see what we can do about that;- #1 you have to  be  single and,- #2 you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too."

"Okay," the nun says, "pull into the next alley."

He does and she fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they got back on the road the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me Sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's okay, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) is not just an athlete....she is now a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

I have sudden urges to talk about what I know about eyes. But I don't really know much. so I will stifle myself. Instead, i just make sure there is a comfy chair in that same corner with the sign ... why are things not right. and evetually I will get a diabetes eye exam . really.

ARRRRGH.

Last night I discovered that the son hadn't turned in a book report that mail said was due yesterday. He said it was due today because they hadn't turned it in yet. He still hadn't done it. He spent the rest of the evening reading madly, got up early this morning, wrote the report, went into school, and discovered that he hadn't heard the teacher askng for it to be turned in yesterday. They wouldn't accept the paper at all, so he spent the rest of the day crying in the office.

• **bangs head***

puts pillow under Betsy's head.

Wish I had more to offer

Oh no. That just breaks my heart, Betsy. I hate disappointment like that even in my own life, but ten times worse when I see a kid facing it. Okay, disappointment doesn't quite seem like the right word, but there's no good word for rug-yanking-out-from-under-you-invalidating-your-hard-work.

I've sent E-mail to the teacher explaining the situation and asking for a one-time-only partial credit.