Step One: make the sign for kiss from across the room.

Are you teaching her baby sign language (or, I guess, ASL for babies)? I've been very curious about that but they suggested waiting.

Damn, Plei gets to do all the fun stuff first around here (where here=my rather mom-focussed world). I guess that's the difference that 7 weeks makes.

Ahem. Over the last two days, I have been eaten by mozzies, burnt by the harsh sun, barked at by an owl and mugged by emus. I'm in heaven. FAUNAPALOOZA!!

That's right. I visited Phillip Island. Why Phillip Island? Because that's where the PENGUINS are! Specifically, the fairy penguins, tiny irascible moronic bundles of adorableness. EN MASSE!!! That's right, come sundown (at which point, I was perched on concrete steps overlooking the beach), hundreds of fairy penguins, in groups of up to about a dozen at a time (strictly, they're now called little penguins, but that feels too prosaic for me) emerge from the surf, survey the gathered crowd come to watch just them, and fall over themselves diving back into the ocean. Then they emerge again a little bit later, note that we've made no threatening moves (except possibly for the occasional idiot ignoring the 'No Photography' sign), and feel comfortable enough to stay by the water's edge for up to five minutes before diving into the surf again. But then! As the sky darkens and they realise that they are becoming invisible (because they do not understand the concept of floodlights), they start to make their way, ever so cautiously, across the beach for the cover of the vegetation. Some of them make it halfway before fleeing again. I swear some go belly-first and body-skate all the way back to the breakers.

Anyway, eventually they make it off the beach. And then they march, very properly and still in their little groups, along trails they've gradually worn among the bushes. And I stand on one of the walkways and watch them going past so close that I could just reach out and grab one, yes, that one who's moving just a little bit slower than the others and has its flippers sticking out to keep its balance and take it home with me but of course I would never do that. Apartments are not the place for happy penguins. (I had a barn swallow in my apartment the other day! It was trapped in the stairwell and couldn't get out because it wouldn't leave window height for downstairs door height, I coaxed it into the apartment and then let it out via the balcony. FAUNAPALOOZA!!)

So. Very cute, and you're all invited to the next one. I have a couple of regrets, like I didn't see any chicks this time, and I forgot my binoculars. But one penguin parade does not a Faunapalooza make. (Sad but true.) There's more!! That afternoon, we'd dropped in on the Koala Conservation Centre. They had koalas! (No, really.) They were mostly asleep, because, koalas, but there was one with a baby that stayed alert enough to ensure we were no threat to the tiny marsupial. But there was better. I heard the kookaburra before it flew right in front of me, which is a good way to encounter kookas. The wallaby, OTOH, was a big surprise. Blue-tongued lizard was a treat. But alas, I didn't see any echidnas. (This was all free-ranging, just a walking trail through some bushland they look after for the native fauna.)

But FAUNAPALOOZA wasn't over yet! The next morning (this is Tuesday now, for those keeping track), we visited Churchill Island. This is the site of a historic homestead, with farm animals (including shaggy West Highland cattle, for authenticity). Her we witnessed flocks of dozens of ibis flying overhead. As well as swallows and Cape Barren geese (not flying overhead, though the bar-headed goose holds the record for the world's highest flyer, having enjoyed the view of Mt Everest from above). We missed out on the wading birds, though.

So for the afternoon, we drove around the island, looking for something to catch our eye. And did it ever! We came across the Phillip Island Wild Animal Park. FAUNAPALOOZA!! Oh, this was something else. A truly marvellous wild animal park, and I've seen a few. First exhibit was the parma wallaby, once thought extinct until a transplanted population was discovered on a New Zealand island. And then, as we're off to the koala exhibit, why not stop off at this enclosure and see what's what. ECHIDNAS!! (continued...)

( continues...) Three of them, including a juvenile! Did I mention, Faunapalooza? FAUNAPALOOZA!!! The juvenile was a bit nervous. It wanted to check me out, from a distance, make sure I was no threat. The other two seemed entirely unfazed.

Many many highlights. They had cassowaries. Quite a few. I got ridiculously close (there was a fence, but both of us were taller than it). AS was getting nervous at this point, as I'd explained their potentially lethal properties. They had koalas, and one was active - feeding, climbing, and sitting on another koala's head. We had bags of feed, and fed wallabies. We fed a mother with a joey. We fed the joey.

Then we saw the barking owl.
I'm sorry. What did you say?
The barking owl.
That's what I thought you said.
There was an owl. It barked at me.
Is that supposed to help?
It's also called the screaming woman owl.
...I was happier when it was barking.
Most people are. I know I was.

The barking owl really does sound like it's barking. And it's gorgeous, and was standing a few feet from us and happy to stay there. It looked like something was wrong with one eye, it may have had a cataract. It was the highlight of the trip for AS.

Wedge-tailed eagles! From a distance I could only see one, but the other one was on the ground. Flat out on the ground, with wings spread, soaking up the sun. These are impressive eagles, about the size of a golden eagle. See, not only was I seeing lots of Australian animals, there was all sorts of cool behaviour going with it. Like, the bronzewing pigeons actually pulled the broken wing thing. (If something gets too close to the nest, they pretend to have a broken wing and lead them away on the pretext that they're an easy meal.)

Last thing to note, the emu mugging. These are some of the dumbest birds on the planet, fairy penguins included, but they're also pretty big. Not as aggressive as cassowaries, but they have been known to get spooked. They're taller than I am, and if they know you have food, they want their cut. So I enter the emu and red kangaroo enclosure (red kangaroos! FAUNAPALOOZA!!), and these emus start sidling up to us, making their gulping call and with eyes fixed firmly on the bags of food. Now AS is shrieking and hiding behind me (and almost pulling me over), while I try to teach the second-largest bird on the planet some manners. I loved it. Right up there, eye to eye. The solution, by the way, is simply to tip some food onto the ground. They go for that, you wander off, and by the time they're done they've completely forgotten where it came from in the first place. Like I said, not smart.

There were other critters (satin bowerbird! Sulphur-crested cockatoos! Parrots of many varieties and hues!) but these are good highlights. Oh, and Makybe Diva won the Melbourne Cup for the third year running. As if that can compete with FAUNAPALOOZA!

FAUNAPALOOZA!!!!

That is awwwwwwwww... worthy for so many reasons, billytea. But especially the penguins, adorable little dorks that they are.

That is awwwwwwwww... worthy for so many reasons, billytea. But especially the penguins, adorable little dorks that they are.

They are! Ask Aziz Steph, she knows!

YAY bt. Very cool. So much more exciting than the penguins in Monterey, though that was pretty cool too.

Am up. Am headed to work. Today HAS to be a better day than yesterday.

Toward that end, please let me say thank you to all the bitches for putting up with me and thank you to the letter W, just cause.

Yes, a better day for all!

Yay Faunapalooza! Yay barking owls!

Speaking of peeps, has anyone talked to -t lately? I worry about her, and never remember to email.

She sent me a note a couple days ago. Still seeking normalcy.

Same old same old here. No power, no school. They have all but 21 schools powered up, but they said opening schools adds 90,000 cars to the roads daily and without working traffic lights we can't handle it.

We are off boil water orders! I don't have to use bottled water to brush my teeth anymore. It's the little conveniences.

That is awwwwwwwww... worthy for so many reasons, billytea. But especially the penguins, adorable little dorks that they are.

They are! Ask Aziz Steph, she knows!

'Tis true -- fairy penguins are total cuteheads, but astonishingly dumb.

I'm sayin'!

Son of a bitch. My sister's boyfriend, who she's in the process of moving to fucking Sweden to be with, just broke up with her via email. Fucker. I need to kill something.