Now that my lunch meetings and receptions and such are over....
I know that I have had to curb my tongue from making the same kind of post - and haven't always been successful in keeping my mouth shut. Though I do try to keep such responses brief and non-inflammatory. It still amounts to: Don't Flip Out! or the popular variant, You're Flipping Out Again!
I think what you guys are forgetting is that I live with this 24/7, while you only have to deal with it one post at a time. And trust me, I've blown up at her many a time over these things. All it does is make me feel righteous and her miserable (and in the end me miserable). The only thing I've found that works is to remind her of things and just her break her own loop. In the end, she's going to have to learn to short-circuit the loops herself. And that's not an easy thing to do, despite what some might think. Behavior isn't just a simple "stop it" away from being changed. If it were, the child discipline gurus would have nothing to do.
What else can we say when the same issues come up? When we see Susan following the same intractable path that's so obviously a worried, worst-case-scenario loop?
I don't know.
Tell you what, e-mail me the next time it happens, and I'll call her and talk her down. That way, you don't feel obligated to solve her problems for her.
The way people have responded to her worries in the past -- offering advice, sympathetic stories of their own children, reassurances -- is, to me, *very* loving. If yesterday wasn't loving, the past 18 months (and prior) have been. Please know that.
I'm sure you have been, and I know that she thinks highly of you all -- as do I. I think today was one of those moments when the one time something snaps is when I just happen to be in the room, and it's the one moment when life has me so angry that I'm spoiling for a fight.
I was thinking I was being kind. We're just people, like she is, and some days it's not as easy to be hairstroke encouraging. Not to mention that I personally don't appreciate but a small amount of that without thinking "That's it. They think I'm mental." So I think it is possible that Susan and I have never communicated well. But I don't wish any ill-will, honest, and can respect your urge to defend your spouse although the wording gave me some pangs.
Thanks. And I certainly didn't mean to blow like that at you or anyone else. I'm still not sure why you think I'm mad at you. The French thing was a joke.
Dylan, I appreciate the apology, but your explanation makes me extremely uncomfortable on Susan's behalf.
I ran it by her, and she was fine with it. The only thing she wanted me to add was that I should apologize for dragging an LJ issue into the board, and that the LJ issue was a misunderstanding between the writer and Susan about intent, and that the writer did not mean this as a continuation of the argument. So, I apologize for lashing out at this audience for something that did not happen here.
And also a few ((((dw)))) as well, even though his language was awful, because it's damn hard to come back afterwards and apologize, and because, no matter how awful the language and how ill-judged the first angry post, the huge protective love for your wife and daughter that prompted it were so very clear.
That's just me, the Pissed Off Wolfhound.
And oh, (((((Aimee)))))
And with that, I'm joining my wife in pulling the plug for a while.