Ok, then you are overcompensating by constantly talking about what's "wrong" with her or what she hasn't done.

God, be so completely excited about her! She's your daughter! Everything she does should be bragged about. BECAUSE SHE'S ANNABELLE. Not in relation to other kids and especially not you and dw. Let her be her.

Aimée, I think you're crossing boundaries like whoa, here. Susan's concern is her business. If she seeks comfort on the board by posting about things that are concerning/bugging her, then that's a valid use of the community - it's one I've been known to use it for. I'm not much of a poster when I'm excited, either. Whatsmore, I haven't gotten the impression that she spends all of her waking hours concerned about Annabel's wrongs at all - just that it's something she worries about occasionally, and posts about. Even MORE importantly, Annabelle does NOT read Bitches - you have no way of knowing that the worries Susan lets out here have any effect on her actual relationship.

ETA: And she can be excited, and also want to get a tongue tie fixed if it's causing a problem.

ETA2: However, Susan, I really do think waiting 'til January will not be the end of the world. If she's having speech issues related to a tongue tie, it is quite unlikely to be impairing her intellectual development, and as soon as the speech pathologists determine what's up, and fix it, she'll catch up double-quick. If it's something else, well, you're gonna have to deal with whatever it is when it's diagnosed, it'll probably be a long-term thing, and two months, even at this young age, will make a big difference. And if it's nothing, then there is nothing to worry about anyway. You already ARE expressing due diligence by seeking out the appointment - January will be soon enough..

I mean, I'm sorry that I'm obviously such a FUCKING TERRIBLE AND INCOMPETENT MOTHER, but I'm TRYING, dammit. I'm doing my best. I love my daughter, and I try to show her that and give her what she needs to thrive to the best of my abilities. But obviously I'm just so FUCKING INCOMPETENT at this that whatever I do is only going to make Annabel worse off.

Susan, you are not in any way incompetent. You're trying very very very hard to be perfect. That will never ever happen in the world of parenting. Worrying about things to an obsessive degree will eventually cause Annabel stress -- which is the LAST thing you want to do, you adore her.

Susan, ask your pede about snipping the tongue tie. I know at least on newborns, it's not considered a big issue.

A short delay (January is only two months and a day away) before they can get you in to see her won't cause her any lasting problems. Six months? Maybe. Two months? Not a problem. Who knows? By then, she may have started yammering, and if not, you'll have a thorough log of data for them on what language she does use.

Susan, I'm a total coward when it comes to doctors with sharp objects in their hands, so I might be reading this wrong, but she hasn't been diagnosed with this

But she has. Annabel was diagnosed with a mild tongue tie when she was a newborn and having difficulty breastfeeding.

Susan, I don't think you are incompetent. And I have no doubt of your love for Annabel. And I have no doubt that you are doing your best.

But I do think that the issues that you have, of your own admission and talking about here, are coloring your viewpoints on Annabel's development.

Lord knows, I am not the World's Best Mom. And I don't try to be and there are several things I need to learn. But you are talking about pre-emptive PLASTIC SURGERY on an 18 month old.

And Gris, I appreciate your viewpoint, however, as we have all discussed, when we post something here, we discuss it. All viewpoints. I am not calling Susan names, I am not being intentinally rude. I am trying to discuss this her.

Even MORE importantly, Annabel does NOT read Bitches

As far as we know...

Susan, you're not a bad mom at all. You know that. It's okay to wonder and worry -- I know I do about my kids from time to time, even the 14-year-old. Maybe especially the 14-year-old. Parenting is tough, because kids don't come with their own instruction manual.

And I gotta say, Aimee, I agree with Gris on this. Susan and you may have different parenting and posting styles, but I know Susan loves Annabel every bit as much as you love Em, and right now she's worried about Annabel's speech. And I think worries like that are natural from time to time for someone who's doing this the first time around.

AmyLiz, I appreciate your sayng so. I have no doubt Susan loves Annabel and wants the best for her.

But you are talking about pre-emptive PLASTIC SURGERY on an 18 month old.

It's not plastic surgery. It's a quick procedure that's routinely performed on infants so that they can eat. Had it been more severe, it probably would have been done as a matter of course when she was still a newborn.

(Yes, I do spend a lot of time lurking at breastfeeding forums.)