They're for fuddy duddys and maiden aunts and licorice eaters and people who have hard candy in cut glass bowls that melts together into one lump and collects dust.

Those who don't use them are the sort of naive futurists who think that we'd have banned war, poverty, and crappy popular music by now. They are intellectual failures, clockcuckooland residents, and the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

So THAT's why I married a curry-hating fruitcake-lover! He is wise in the ways of commas.

Hey! What's wrong with a curry-hating fruitcake-lover!?

Erika, great interview. You made me laugh out loud and think at the same time, which is pretty impressive.

Those who don't use them are the sort of naive futurists

Naive? Sir, the word you were looking for there is "visionary."

who think that we'd have banned war, poverty, and crappy popular music by now.

Again, you have to have a vision to even attempt to face the future. Instead you clutch the mouldering past to your bosom and litter the language with the clinging ivy of needlessly fussy punctuation.

They are intellectual failures,

So say the "we like it the old way" fustidarians. Do you also intend to argue that plural possessive must employ the unsightly "s" apostrophe "s" construction?

clockcuckooland residents, and the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

Revolution? Sir, you are on the reactionary side of the argument, not the revolutionary.

The serial comma will be jettisoned into the past as the English language roars into the future. You may keep yours in a small box with your antimacassar collection.

What's wrong with a curry-hating fruitcake-lover!?

A) I don't get to cook with curry anymore.

B) I only get to eat curry on the rare occasions I'm eating out without him.

C) He makes fruitcake, fancy Welsh fruitcake, and I feel all guilty over the fact that despite all the time and effort he puts into it, I still can't stand to eat it because it's filled with icky cloyingly sweet dried fruit.

Ugh. Just heard someone might have jumped in front of the train on the line I take home.

I only get to eat curry on the rare occasions I'm eating out without him.

He hates curry that much? That's not just hate, that's oppression.

Just heard someone might have jumped in front of the train on the line I take home.

You know, I think suicide is ... well, an option, if not a happy one. It is however, often selfish, and when you start fucking with strangers, supremely so.

Those who don't use them are the sort of naive futurists who think that we'd have banned war, poverty, and crappy popular music by now. They are intellectual failures, clockcuckooland residents, and the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

Wow. They really are for Americans.

Has anyone read about this? Mindblowing.

He hates curry that much? That's not just hate, that's oppression.

Well, it does have a strong smell. I think it's heavenly, but obviously he doesn't. And when you're in an Indian restaurant, you can't escape it.