ION: Last night my mother asked me what "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" have to do with God. Apparently there was an article in the paper about the parallels or something. So, I extrapolate, my mother has never read or in any other way become familiar with the story. She doesn't really read books much (mags and newspapers, yes). My dad mostly reads non-fiction. I'm very bewildered where my and my brother's love of sci-fi and fantasy came from.

I Am The Stupidest.

I don't know why people think I know what I'm doing, but it's a fucking lie, I tell you what.

Deena, can that sort of thing wait until Monday? I know it doesn't help, but I'm having sympathy symptoms for you right now, and it is not fg.

I see the "smooth" question has been answered. If she says it again, Deena, try putting lotion on her hands. It's the same complaint my daughter used to make.

Also, what Sail said. And even if dry skin isn't the problem, the lotion may be enough to make her feel like you've addressed the problem--which reminds me, I have to pick up some more Wint-o-green Life Savers, for my anxiety. t /placebo lover

Teppy, don't you bury a statue of St. Anthony in the yard, if you want to sell your house?

Hi Epic!

I've never really had any problems with my eyes. Sorry, Deena.

the wedding of doom

Is that their description or yours?

Huh. I found black with silver detail. What style? Pumps, slingbacks, platform, sandal-ish, spike?

Nora, you're wicked smart and we adore you. Alas, I have no more apropos comments to make.

So my new boss is nice and I like her. However...

This morning I went into her office and inquired about the man in the photos she had out. Her husband of 20 years. And then she said, "And these are my babies..." in a baby talk voice and pointed out the pictures of her cats. And then she showed me her sleeping yet animatronic cat on her desk, which she insisted was a great stress relief. I thought she just meant that stroking the fur felt nice, but it actually starts to stir in its sleep and breathes in and out like a sleeping cat.

This week has sucked like an entire battalion of whores. Plus side, my friend Betty is back in town for the day and I will meet with her for lunch where we will have many oysters. Then JZ and Emmett and I will go see the wererabbit.

Hi Nicole!

Oh, yeah, other than actually having had wrinkled contacts in my eye, I haven't had that experience, Deena. And the fix for that (taking the contact out), I really don't recommend for the cornea.

Nora, you're not. Also, clearly must present a very together-seeming persona - or the actual stupid ones would stop coming to you for answers. Right?

Hec, I actually own two cats. And that story creeped me out.

Nicole - my description. It is my cousin, he is 24, I think, and the bride is 34. I don't like her. I tried, but I don't.

I have a blue dress and need to jazz it up with some kicky heels. I've been looking at pumps, sling-backs, ankle-straps...open to anything, really. I want to be able to walk in them, so no serious spikes. Now, Spike would be a great accessory....

I want some eye candy. All I've got is Nick, and he doesn't count.

It's always disconcerting when the young hotties are related to you, ie, Kenny should not look all tall and sleepy and cute around me, especially in that dark green sweater of his and messy hair.