Hec, I actually own two cats. And that story creeped me out.

Nicole - my description. It is my cousin, he is 24, I think, and the bride is 34. I don't like her. I tried, but I don't.

I have a blue dress and need to jazz it up with some kicky heels. I've been looking at pumps, sling-backs, ankle-straps...open to anything, really. I want to be able to walk in them, so no serious spikes. Now, Spike would be a great accessory....

I want some eye candy. All I've got is Nick, and he doesn't count.

It's always disconcerting when the young hotties are related to you, ie, Kenny should not look all tall and sleepy and cute around me, especially in that dark green sweater of his and messy hair.

Stomach still kind of wonky...okay, stomach, YOU MUST CHILL! Now picturing Lloyd rubbing my stomach...well, that makes the rest of me better, if not the tum. I was supposed to get a haircut today, too. Hec, total cat lover, and the fake cat at work? Wack. But I can't snark as much as I would like as I'm very superstitious about Simon's autograph being the source of my hardboiled mojo.

Animatronic cat = creepy desk toy. And creepy in any other place, too, I imagine.

And then she showed me her sleeping yet animatronic cat on her desk, which she insisted was a great stress relief. I thought she just meant that stroking the fur felt nice, but it actually starts to stir in its sleep and breathes in and out like a sleeping cat.

Oh, that sounds nice to me. All the pleasure of a cat at the office without the need for a litter box or a food bowl or listening to endless "Meers!" of boredom.

it's a database design thing. I am having trouble going outside the boundaries of my precious, precious templates. I mean, we customize our databases a lot, and I've done that. But this is totally different, and I can't make my brain work, and it's already tired and angry about all the school reading I have to do, and the 5 page paper I have to write this weekend, and I am having a hard time moving past all this negativity which is obviously not productive.

I think I'm going to go get a cup of coffee and a cookie.

And then she said, "And these are my babies..." in a baby talk voice and pointed out the pictures of her cats. And then she showed me her sleeping yet animatronic cat on her desk, which she insisted was a great stress relief. I thought she just meant that stroking the fur felt nice, but it actually starts to stir in its sleep and breathes in and out like a sleeping cat

I'm sorry. I'm laughing really, really hard over here. This couldn't be more perfect if your life were a movie like, oh, Office Space.

When I get done rolling on the floor, my sympathies.

It's always disconcerting when the young hotties are related to you.

Or are dating your daughter.

This couldn't be more perfect if your life were a movie like, oh, Office Space.

::clutches stapler to his chest::

I'm laughing really, really hard over here.

Well, as long as you're getting some joy out of it.

Lunch with friend in 90 minutes!