{{{Bitches}}}

In totally shallow news, I'm in new khaki cords, a new dark brown twin set, and friggin flip flops. My new shoes would have really completed this look, damn it, but my feet just weren't having it. And I'm doing a presentation. Grrr.

If she does have one, it's probably mild--she acts like a fairly normal kid, just not an especially talkative one.

Thanks--this is especially reassuring coming from someone who's been around her recently. That's half my problem; I just don't have any context to judge. She's my first child, I'm the youngest in my family and never babysat much.

By comparison with the little boy in the blog link you posted, if she does have it, it sounds milder. She doesn't have the gaze avoidance, just some degree of speech delay and a tendency to play around rather than with other children--which could be as much a function of the fact she spends most of her life in a household with two adults, only seeing other kids once a week or so when we put her in the nursery at church. It'd hardly be surprising for people like Dylan and me to produce a kid with some degree of Asperger's-type behavior, since we both have some mild tendencies in that direction ourselves. But if she turns out like us, that's fine. We'll never win the prize for best social skills, but we're intelligent, articulate people who are fully engaged with the world around us. If I could just feel sure Annabel will reach that point, my mind will be at ease, and I'll just be more on guard than I already was to help her with socialization and to comfort her if it doesn't come easily for her.

The khaki cords and dark brown twin set sound like a good combo, GC. And flip-flops are all the rage.

I'm in a black suit that I bought last spring. After this Summer of Eating Dangerously, I'm kind of thrilled that the skirt still zips. Now if only I could get back into my jeans before NC gives up on the ghost of summer . . .

a tendency to play around rather than with other children

As many others have said, I think you are smart to check this out, but, I do have to tell you that I was an only child who spent almost all my time around adults and I did this. I am very far from autistic/aspergers, it was just a function of a) being shy and b) not being familiar with actual children (I think I thought I was just a small adult)

How are you doing, Gud?

She doesn't have the gaze avoidance, just some degree of speech delay and a tendency to play around rather than with other children--

It's called Parallel Play. It's normal for that age.

Eighteen month old children don't play with other children. Really. She's just at the age where you'd expect to start to see an inclination for parallel play (playing near other children).

It's hard to compare from kid to kid. So much of their behavior is due to a combination of personality and preference. If the other children you are exposed to either have siblings, or are in daycare, they're going to be somewhat more socialized than an only child, who is home most of the time.

xpost with Hec

It's called Parallel Play. It's normal for that age.

Even if the nursery workers at church find her behavior remarkable? Apparently even in a room full of children between 12 and 24 months, she stands out for self-sufficiency and not needing anyone to entertain her. And from my own observation, she's less likely to be in a clump with other children when we come in to pick her up, and more likely to be deeply involved with some book or toy all on her own.

That's different from being anti-social, Susan.

I do think you should take a comprehensive list to your pediatrician. Otherwise, it is too easy to get swept up in the doctor's schedule, and only remember some of your questions and concerns.

I think she's probably too little for them to even determine an actual speech delay at this point. It's good to stay on top of things. But to the extent you can help it (and I wish there was a hypocrisy font), try not to borrow trouble. Annabel sounds bright and independent to me, and not so inclined to talk. A lot of bright kids are late talkers (and a speech eval and therapy, if the eval deems it necessary won't hurt her), because they're a little inclined to be perfectionists. They want to do it right before they do it.

Though, between older siblings and daycare, probably 75% of the kids in the nursery spend more time with other children than she does.

FWIW, when we were touring daycares a few weeks ago, one time the kids in the 18-24 month room were sitting down for dinner when we got there, and she seemed very interested in them. At another one, the toddlers were scattered in various groups, some playing alone, some clustered around a teacher. The first thing she did was run to the group with the teacher, but more to see what they were doing than to see them. She splashed her hands in the water they were playing with, then systematically went around the room, exploring the toys. The teachers seemed to think she was remarkably poised and confident for her age, but she was definitely more interested in things than people, for whatever that's worth.