I routinely read LJs that aren't on my list.

Another paradigm shift. I only read people who are on my friendslist, or are linked to from people on my friendslist. If I follow a link to an interesting posting, I immediately friend it.

People go on/off my friendslist based on whether I find their blogs stimulating.

On those "marzipan babies," here's the artist's website: [link]

I really like this one: [link] since it's such an Annabel look.

Next on the gay agenda....

I hope the updates will be posted in the gay lobby, or I'll never keep up.

you invite people, people show up and say "Is it okay if I join in?, and it's rude to show up unannounced.

You're putting words into my mouth.

I am eternally curious about my audience. For the provocateuse sites and for buffistas.org, I go through referrer logs once a month. This gives me information that guides any changes I may think useful for either site. Both sites are undeniably broadcast media, and my behaviour is typical for the webmaster role. True?

As for LJ, so you're not the sort of person who posts a "how did you get here?" meme. So far, neither have I. But you still seem attached to my flip and casual use of the word "should", or lend a lot more weight to the word "cool" than I think it can support.

I read other people's LJs without assuming that creates any sort of bond between us.

Well, except in the software, since you equate reading and friending so absolutely.

I want marzapan.

Another paradigm shift. I only read people who are on my friendslist, or are linked to from people on my friendslist. If I follow a link to an interesting posting, I immediately friend it.

How do you follow blogs?

Betsy is me WRT use of friendslist, friendslock, and more exclusive filters.

I do kinda wish I had the time and energy to go back and edit my public web presence to only the things I really want out there now that I'm planning to be a semi-public author-type person if/when I sell a book.

Of course, I'm planning to use a pen name, so in a way I do get to build a new public persona.

[link]

Marzipan for Connie!

I'm kind of new to LJ and not so familiar with its conventions. I would always let somebody know if I wanted to friend them because it seems like the polite thing to do. But I also don't friend a ton of people. I'm wondering what the best way to asking somebody if you may friend them. What do people prefer? In a comment to a specific post? In a message to their email address if they have one listed?

I don't post much or much of anything but I would want to know why somebody friended me. Especially if it was somebody who wasn't actually a friend.

you equate reading and friending so absolutely.

But the thing is, that is how I use LJ exclusively. I read LJ through my friendslist.

I'm not saying you should see it my way; I'm saying, look, here are two radically different descriptions and experiences of the same software. How I think it works, emotionally, is different from the way you think it works. Same tool, different mental model.

And I'm trying to back away from the "should"; I'm trying instead to talk about social expectations.

my behaviour is typical for the webmaster role. True?

Absolutely. And my POV is certainly marked by never having been a Webmaster, and by having no access to referrer logs. My view of the Web is that it's shouting down a well: I have no idea who is listening.